**This post will not entirely make sense nor have it's full impact if you have not read the previous Titus 2 Series posts! Here are the links to them if you need to catch up!
Quality:
Self-Control
Breakdown:
Thus far in this Titus 2 series, we've discussed several qualities that a godly woman should posses as well as ones that she must be mindful to avoid. A Titus 2 Woman (T2W) should be a mentor to other women, behave reverently, & Agape love her husband & her children. She should avoid gossip & addiction. We've yet to discuss that she is also to be pure, a homemaker, & submissive. The ability to obtain these character traits or to avoid them takes a great deal of effort & will power...it takes Self-Control. Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines self-control as this, 'restraint exercised over one's own impulses, emotions, or desires.'
Is there anything sweeter, more precious, or innocent than a newborn babe? Their silky skin, powdery scent, & soft breathing as they sleep just radiates purity, yet pure they are not. Even the newest & most precious of babes is born sinful...we all are.
Psalm 51:5 'For I was born a sinner-yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.'
From the moment the forbidden fruit was eaten, every man & every woman has been a slave to sin...but there's good news! When we accept the amazing grace that Abba offers us (salvation by way of Jesus), we shed off the old sinful nature & are given a new one.
2 Corinthians 5:17 'This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!'
Many read that verse & come to the conclusion that sin will no longer be an obstacle for them...a nice thought but entirely mistaken. We live in a fallen world, & as such sin will ever be present in our lives. Prior to receiving salvation we were blind & lost (as my favorite hymn says)...unaware of (or perhaps merely unconcerned with) our sin, but when we receive that Amazing Grace, it is as though we see the world with new eyes. Suddenly those things that we once were painfully blind to & lost in, we now see with utter clarity & find ourselves mired in muck. We then begin the process of climbing out of our sinful past. The new nature is not a super cosmic power that makes us immune to the temptations of sin, but rather it makes us aware of those temptations. The new nature fills us with a desire for righteousness & that makes it impossible to continue blindly sinning. Our conscious has become property of an incredibly good God who now lets us know when we are doing wrong. Once the blinders have been removed, we have a responsibility to begin removing sin from our lives & to be proactive in avoiding it in the future...that's where Self-Control comes in. To avoid confusion & for the purpose of this post, I am going to stick to discussing Self-Control terms of the T2W (Titus 2 Woman). Let's consider the character traits that we are to be striving towards...& running from.
Mentorship:
The twofold responsibility to glean wisdom from someone & in turn pour knowledge into someone else.
There is a trend in our culture to scorn the advice & life lessons offered to us by our elders...the antithesis of the attitude that we are called to have. The overriding theme of Titus 2 is that women should walk through life together, supporting, training, teaching, guiding, & aiding one another...we cannot do this if we find advice & admonitions annoying. We need to reorient our thought processes to now treasure any & every tidbit offered to us by those who have already been where we are now. Changing our mindset, tossing out an old mentality & developing a new one, in terms of appreciating guidance, will take self-discipline. On the flip side, we have a responsibility to pour our knowledge, wisdom, & understanding into someone else...a scenario that is ripe for developing a big head. Maintaining humility & restraining pridefulness will take a good dose of will power.
Behavior:
Conducting oneself in a reverent way, actions & words that a reflective of Jesus
When we become believers, not only do we make the switch from the old sinful nature to the new aware one, we take on a grave responsibility. Our lives become a visual representation of an invisible God...how we behave either enhances or skews the way that others view us...and in turn the way they view Him. Our behavior, good or bad, now becomes a big deal.
2 Corinthians 5:20 'So we are Christ's ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us..."
We already discussed that our salvation does not grant us the super power of repelling sin, merely the consciousness to flee from it. Striving to uphold righteousness in our lives, eliminating existing sin, & avoiding future transgressions will take a heaping helping of self-control.
Addiction:
Compulsive need for & use of a habit, characterized by symptoms upon withdrawal.
We naturally think of drugs & alcohol when we hear the word Addiction, but much more veiled are the obsessive habits of a believing woman. Beauty, romance, social media, & even our children subtly have ways of becoming addictions, & the problem with addiction is that the object that we obsess over becomes an idol in our life. Abba is to be our one & only God, but the idolatry of addiction keeps us from fulfilling that command. Utilizing self-control & having the willpower to avoid those disguised obsessions is the only way to keep addiction from our lives.
Love Their Husbands & Children:
Agape: Selfless, freely given love; love in action, expecting nothing in return.
The foundation of marriage is biblically intended to be Agape love, but that's very seldom the case. Marriages begin for all sorts of reasons; lust, excitement, adventure, friendship, necessity...but very seldom out of selflessness. Agape most certainly is not easy. It's not easy to give & give of yourself. It's not easy to adapt yourself to your spouse's needs & wishes. It's not easy to serve someone else. It surely isn't easy to do all of those things with no expectation of reciprocation, but we're called to do just that. Acting out Agape in marriage will absolutely require self-control. Restraining your emotion when he forgets your anniversary, holding back the impulse to turn off the ball game when you'd rather watch the Bachelor, or surrendering your desires in order to fulfill his...definitely takes willpower. Marriage cannot & will not survive if spouses lack this quality.
Our culture idolizes it's children & makes them center of the universe. We desperately want friendship with our children & in turn compromise our parenting integrity in order to receive it. The result is a generation of entitled, lazy, disrespectful, & selfish children. Showing tough love & raising children the right way, despite their tantrums & fits, takes self-control.
Application:
It's clear that obtaining or avoiding the Titus 2 qualities requires diligent self-control. We must strive to acquire that skill...it's detrimental to our success in this journey. Acknowledging that forces us to ask: How does one become self-controlled?
2 Peter 1:5-7,9 'In view of all of this, make every effort to respond to God's promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, self-control with patient endurance, patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone...But those who fail to develop in this way are shortsighted or blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their old sins'
Self-control is a by-product of pressing into Abba. Seeking the Word, praying, & deepening faith results in a life embedded in Him. The more we press in, the more we resemble Him, the more we resemble Him, the more blatant sin is, the more obvious that sin is, the more repulsive it becomes, the more repulsive sin is, the less tempting it is, the less tempting sin is, the easier it is to avoid...Self-Control. The opposite of this process is also true. If we are not deepening our faith & are not in tune with Abba then we aren't as vigilant in seeing temptations arise, & we are less likely to avoid sin. The lack of self-control in our lives is a very good indicator of a lack of effort in our relationship with Abba. To master this skill, we have to mature in our faith...continuously & constantly.
We have to be honest & examine every aspect of our lives...an influx of sin & a lack of self-control are evidence of slacking off in our relationship with Abba...once we are aware of that, we can begin to make amends. An intimate relationship with The Lord & having willpower are imperative to becoming the T2W we so long to be...& we can't have one without the other so a critical examination of our hearts is the perfect place to start.
Psalm 139:23-24 'Search me, Oh God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point our anything in me that offends you, and lead me on the path of everlasting life.'
Be Blessed!
