Take off the Pants: Submission (Part 1)

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I am going to reuse my opening from my previous post: Okay Ladies, for those of you who shudder at the mere mention of the word "Submit" you should either take a deep breath & dive into this post or just hit the "x" button now. Sisters, I am going to speak my heart on this matter truly, biblically, & with steel toe boots on because this message will step on our toes & challenge us. Satan has launched an attack on biblical roles within marriage & he has succeeded mightily in usurping the God-given authority of men. This message has been over 6 years in the making as God has convicted me of my arrogance & moved me to have a submissive heart. I have been immeasurably blessed by beginning to understand true submission (not Satan's skewed version) & want the same for you. I have come this this knowledge: We cannot be godly P31W if we do not cleanse our hearts of the "Submission Shudder" & begin to embrace the freedom that comes with submitting ourselves to our husband's authority. 

As I said this message has been on my heart for over 6 years. I figured it out the hard way. I was in an engagement with my high school sweetheart. I had our whole life planned out. He was a good man, but we were unequally yoked. To be transparent a large part of the problem was that I dominated that relationship. I made the decisions, I set the goals, I led. I (unintentionally, but nevertheless) stripped away the essential part of a man...the part that needs to lead, to protect, to feel needed, to be respected. That relationship ended, (it was for the best no doubt) & God began to open my eyes. I began to see that something just wasn't right. As I began to examine marriages, relationships, & the general workings between men & women (even Christian couples) I saw that there were cracks in the foundation. During that single season in my life I fell in love with the Lord all over again & devoured my Bible with abandon & insatiable hunger. To my astonishment & yes dismay, verses on submission & the role of women began to leap out at me. The idea took root & I have been on the quest of a submissive heart ever since. All that said to say this, that is why I am lovingly but firmly passing along what I have learned. Before you read further take all of your preconceived notions about submission & trash them...it was a lie from the pit & it will one day ruin (if not merely deeply damage) your relationship with your husband (or future husband). 

Brief history lesson: During WWII women had to work. They joined the war effort by building artillery & guns. They worked to provide while their husbands are away. Women had to wear the pants in their families. Here's an important tidbit: They had to be the leaders of their families, because the leader was away! When the men came home some women returned home, but many had found the experience of being "head of the house" to be an adventure & refused to take the pants back off. Suddenly we were a culture of both working men & women. Next generation: Having grown up with working moms, the feminist movement began. Suddenly it was no longer good enough for a woman to work, she had to be absolutely equal with a man. Whatever job he could do, so could she. Next Generation: Having grown up with an "I'm just as strong as you" mentality, another leap is taken. Have you ever heard the jingle "Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you!"  This is where we are today. Women strive to be better than a man. Higher position, higher pay. To top it off we now have a derogatory mindset towards any unaspiring, lazy, nonmotivated woman who chooses to be home. We scorn the woman who lets her husband make a decision about anything. It's true, we do.

The problem keeps escalating when the work day ends & couples everywhere walk through the front door. Do you think that suddenly the woman dawns her apron & heads to the kitchen? Absolutely not. Men are no longer King of their Castles...they are butlers. I am in no way saying that we have to mimic early mid century housewives, but I am indeed saying that there are roles that should & must be filled in order to have a godly, healthy marriage. We are to be helpmates to one another, not competitors. Women have run amok with the high of authority. Over time it has demasculinated men. We have stripped them of the opportunity to lead their families. Marriages are ruined & the women cry about how their husbands were bums. *Toe stomp alert! Who made them bums? Are our husbands incapable of handling things? When do we let them? Frustrated that they are not leaders?  We chose them, & if we're honest it's probably in part because we knew we could get what we want & do what we want. We berate our husbands for lording over us & then we sulk because the weight of the world is on our shoulders. Guess what, when we want to be "equal to or better than" they is, we should be able to handle it. I say this because I have been there, done that. I was this woman. I ranted about my fiance's lack of get-up & go, but I balked whenever he got-up & went. I chided him to make decisions & then I disagreed with the ones he made. I begged him to grow deeper in faith, but I constantly rubbed his nose in that fact that he could never catch up with me. Ouch...

Look at the up & coming generation. We have begun raising boys with no hopes of ever truly being manly men. We raise our girls to handle any obstacle that comes their way, without need for help. Boys are weak & whiny, girls are callous & unfeeling. We don't teach little boys to be providers, protectors, & leaders because we know that one day a bossy wife will pay the bills, guard her nest, & dictate decisions. We don't teach little girls to honor the authority of her father because heaven forbid our girls be dependent upon a man! Marriages are doomed when the future brides & grooms are just toddlers! Results of this plague are not just rocky & upended marriages, but destroyed families. Even more extreme is the tidal wave of homosexuality & that people hormonally & surgically changing their genders. Why? Because we have confused them! When you do not raise boys as men in the making & little girls as future wives & mamas identity gets lost! It is important to note that even in homosexual relationships there is nearly always a male & female role...whether there are 2 men or 2 women in that relationship. Why? God created distinct innate roles within the marriage relationship! A feminine role & a masculine one...no matter how messed up the picture of marriage gets, that fact does not change. Another point to prove that God knew what He was doing & that He is sovereign. 

Mental disorders are rampant & ever increasing in our culture. Everyone is messed up for one reason or another...why is that? I would venture to say that the inevitable true root of mental illness is quite often the fact that for nearly 4 generations now we have been victims of & party to skewed marital roles. Statistically speaking divorce rates rose when women went out the door. We grow up seeing our mothers disrespect our fathers & rule the roost, & then as adults we continue the cycle.  Men get depressed, resentful, & seek out elicit affairs in order to prove their masculine worth. Why? God created men to lead, to protect, & to provide. Men are to be the head of the home. When he can't/doesn't do that break down occurs. Women get depressed, have anxiety, become bitter, & seek elsewhere for affection.  Why? God created women to be nurturing, to be gentle, to need a feeling of security. Women are to be the heart of the home. 

*End of Part 1. I beg you to please keep reading!