"Whatchudoingmommy?"
"Making my bed," I reply.
"Okay." she says, "I'mgonnawatchyoumommy!"
Not long after I hear,
"Canihelpyoumommy?"
This comment is followed up by the hurling of pillows onto the yet unmade bed.
Just like that...complete sentences all in one long word. "Whatcha doing, Mommy?", "I'm gonna watch you, Mommy". "Can I help you, Mommy?" My little ladies say those phrases often. They are highly curious...always wanting to know what I am doing & why I am doing it. Just now as I type this, Sweet 'N Sassy is hovering over my shoulder asking countless questions as to my mission & motive at the moment. "Whatchudoingmommy?" Most typically, as in the aforementioned scenario, the followup response is "I'mgonnawatchyoumommy!' And then they do...watch me that is. Wherever I am, whatever I'm doing...folding clothes, doing dishes, scrubbing toilets, writing a post (you get it) there's usually one or more of my gaggle of girls right by my side. They observe. They comment. They even critique. At the wise old age of 3 & 4, they are certain they know how to do (whatever it is I'm doing) better...and they let me know it. Very often their interest & curiousity transitions from an observance to a desire to join in. "Canihelpyoumommy?" They want to help...sometimes their help is truly an aid & other times is the creation of yet more work.
Intitially this adoration & curiousity were flattering...and then when the critiquing began, it was humorous (& a little annoying)...and now that they not only watch but they help, well that's a source of pride (& frustration). Oh yes, these 3 questions, while often yielding an ego boost to Moi, equally as often result in a convicting humility.
Here are a couple of examples:
1.One day my Goldilocks takes me by the hand & pulls me into the laundry room. With extreme pride she points to pile of folded laundry. My mother's heart melted into a pool at her feet! Unprompted my sweet girl did me a service...This was one of those ego-boost-pride moments!
2. Passing by the playroom I overhear that same sweet girl hollering (yes, hollering) this,"What in the Sam Hill do you think you're doing?!" This statement was followed by the sound of her sister screaming. I don't know what caused the scream...I don't want to. Hearing my trademark anger-inspired catch phrase (in my own tone of voice no less) was eye opening...This was one of those convictingly humiliating moments!
It hasn't taken too many years of parenting to realize that parenthood seems to be as much about my growth as it is theirs. There are times when I want to holler (yes, holler) back at them, "Nunya!" (None of your business), "Quit watching me!", & perhaps most often, "I don't need your help!"
*Candidate for Mom-Of-The-Year Award right here!*
That's just the truth though...the honest-to-goodness way I feel. It's exhausting having someone oogling you, criticizing you, & 'helping' you all the time...all the time. So cry a river & join me at the Pity Party, alright? All these thoughts ran through my brain as I straightened sheets, folded blankets, & plumped pillows...the same pillows hurled at me (before I was ready) by my precocious girl...the same pillows I'd chastised her for 'helping' me with. As I turned to leave the room I noticed something was odd...it took me a moment to put my finger on it, but then it hit me like a ton of bricks...Belles 'N Whistles was gone. After my harsh (& unwarranted) response, she'd left the room. Who would want to watch or help a mean mommy?
My little outburst got my wheels turning, & I got to thnking about my girls & about the church (us, the body of believers in Jesus Christ). It occurred to me that my little sad scenario was a precise picture of my purpose here on this earth. My job is to be a model for this gaggle of girls to emulate. They are supposed to want to know what I am doing and why. They are supposed to watch me. They are supposed to help me...And I need to be for sure & for certain that I'm doing the right thing...that I'm worth watching...that I embrace their help. Because if I'm not, I'll turn around one day & they'll be gone...just like Belles was this morning. I can grumble all I like about how annoying that role of leader is, but it's my job nonetheless. I can be indifferent to my impact upon the girls...lackadaisical in my rolemodeling, but the truth is that my gaggle will grow up one day wanting to be just like their momma or as different as possible.
Friends, the truth is that this same scenario plays out for the church. We, believers, are commissioned by Jesus himself to be disciples & to make disciples. Essentially He has told others to ask, "Whatchudoing?"...He has given them a desire to say, "I'mgonnawatchyou."...and hopefully some will ask, "Canihelpyou?" One of the greatest hindrances to the growth of the Kingdom (unbelievers believing) is the hypocrisy of the church (us). We are sick & tired of being questioned, observed, & criticized...we get asked tough questions, & we want to holler back, "Nunya!"...and sometimes we do.
*Candidate for Christian-of-the-Year Award right here!*
We experience convicting moments of humility, but rather than acknowledging our fault, we get angry at the observers for pointing it out. Even worse, we are simply content with ourselves: we go to church, we join a biblestudy, we pray before bed, & even work in a little "quiet time"...but we rarely make a bold stand for Jesus. We then look around us and wonder why people aren't stnading in line to join us...why they've left the room. We can grumble about it all we like...about how annoying the role of Christian is, but it's our job nonetheless. We can be indifferent to our impact on the world...lackadaisical in our rolemodeling, but the truth is that those around us will one day want to be just like us or to be as different as possible.
We are meant to be disciples of Jesus...to follow as closely in his footsteps as possible...and we are called to help others become disciples as well. This is our purpose. It's time to quit grumbling about the duty...or perhaps worse, quit being indifferent to it, & to get to work. Before I close, I want to acknowledge that our observers watch us for 1 of 3 reasons:
1. They are brothers & sisters in Christ & are looking for someone to share the journey with.
2. They are sensitive believers & are being drawn to Jesus...they are watching us to see if they want it.
3. They are hostile unbelievers just itching for a reason to cry 'hypocrite' & do disclaim Jesus because of our poor example.
Friends, regardless of Why they watch, the important thing is that they Do. We cannot worry about the motive of the observer, but only about our own example. We should model Jesus regardless. Who we are & what we do should be unwavering & unflappable. That example should not hinge on who the aundience might be or why they are watching. We are to be disciples of Jesus & to create more disciples of Him (not ourselves).
Many a times have I knelt down & apologized to my gaggle...today was another of those times. I am compelled to be the kind of woman that I want them to one day become...I am equally as compelled to be the kind of disciple that is worthy of observance. I no longer want to grumble about my responsibilities as a mother...as a disciple...I no longer want to be indifferent of my impact. I am enegized & eager to embrace my duties & to be worthy of the call. I refuse to yield to the urge to holler (yes, holler) "Nunya" & instead long to say, "Come & See for Yourself!" I want my life to bear fruit...I want to know that He used me to add citizens to His kingdom. I want to make a difference, to be the change!
So I ask you today,
'Whatchudoing" with your life...your faith?
I tell you today,
"I'mgonnawatchyou" because I love you & you inspire me to do more...to be more.
I ask you,
"Canihelpyou?" make your journey easier...share the burden...carry the load?
We're in this together, brothers & sisters! It's time to get busy!
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