Proverbs 31:20

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"She's quick to assist anyone in need, 

   reaches out to help the poor".

Qualities:
           Assertive: self-motivated to take the initiative & do what needs done
           Discerning: insight, wisdom, & perception into what might be obscure
           Servant: a performer of tasks that seem menial or unappealing


Breakdown:
A first glance at this verse & it's easy to see that there's little interpretation needed to decipher the qualities it speaks of. A Proverbs 31 Woman (P31W) helps those in need & gives of what she has to those less fortunate than herself. 
Indeed we should give to those in need & reach out to those who are down on their luck, but I venture to say that more is required of a true P31W. She must have a true servant's heart. It's not enough to give merely because that's what's expected, a P31W should be compelled to do so...and to delight in the act. So many times we agree to help a charity or to volunteer & we do so begrudgingly. Sisters, we should see this opportunities as chances to be the hands & feet of Jesus in the lives of others! A P31 W should also be assertive in her generosity. It is easy to sit back on our haunches & wait for an opportunity to serve to come our way...but is that enough? Now I am not saying that we must go out and start a huge non-for-profit thing-a-ma-gig, but I am saying that when we see a need we should jump on the chance to fill  the void...and if we aren't capable of filling it ourselves then to shoulder the burden of finding someone who can. 


A true P31W, my Grammie saw in her hometown the need of young pregnant women, & had a compulsion to help them. She & my Papaw took several women such as these into their home until their babies arrived, but then she went a step further. My Grammie had a vision and saw to fruition the formation of the Pregnancy Care Center in Washington, In. She took the initiative & with the help of like-minded people made it happen. 
Sisters, we must serve with loving, tender hearts, and we should serve because we can do nothing but serve, so compelled are we by love. 


A final quality that I believe the P31W should possess is discernment. It is easy to see the need in a homeless person, a hitch-hiker, or a person in the soup kitchen line, but needs go beyond the physical. I remember in school learning that there were 3 basic needs: food, clothing, & shelter. When I taught school years later they had tacked on a 4th need: Love. All around us are broken & scarred hearts...hearts in need of healing. I truly believe our Father would desire us to minister to this need. People need genuine friendships, they need someone who genuinely listens, who faithfully prays. They need someone who sees through the exterior smile or hard shell & into the needs they hide deep within. I believe we should pray & seek the gift of discernment so that we might begin to be a balm to the soul. This type of servanthood requires more than the giving of money or food...it requires more than dropping off donations to the local food pantry. A discerning spirit, & a serving heart require us to give of ourselves truly...our time, our emotions, our prayer. It might mean being a spiritual mother to a child, being a friend to one who has none, bringing a person into your home & family. The ability to discern these needs will allow a P31W to see into the heart of issues & to know how to serve that need. 


Years ago my Grammie took my cousins & I to Washington D.C. on the March for Life. Having been on this trip several times, my cousins & I loaded our backpacks with snacks for the homeless that we would encounter while there. Proud of ourselves, we told Grammie of our intention, anticipating that she would applaud our thoughtfulness, but instead she reacted quite differently. While I am sure she was proud, Grammie told us that the homeless needed far more than a snack...they needed spiritual nourishment. She gave us pocket sized New Testaments to give along with the food. At the time I can say I was a little irritated that our "generosity" didn't receive more acclamation than it did, but now I know what true insight my Grammie had.


Application:
Be assertive: Jump into servanthood without waiting to be asked...volunteer rather than be manhandled into the role.
Develop a servant's heart: Ask the Lord to truly give you a joy & passion for serving others
Be Discerning: See past the 3 basic needs & into the true spiritual & emotional needs others have & then be assertive in striving to meet those needs as an ambassador of Christ. 

Through Thick or Thin: Body Image

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One of my first childhood memories is a tragic one. Vivid in my mind is the picture of my kindergarten aged self, holding my mom's hand while approaching a casket. Inside the casket lay a very young, emaciated woman.To this day I do not know that woman's name, I only know her story. She was the daughter of my bus driver, & she had lost the battle with an eating disorder. I remember hearing my mom & my grandma say that when this young woman was around 12 or so, a boy on the bus called her "chubby" & so it began. Almost certainly this hurtful encounter was merely the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak...I am sure that numerous other emotions & circumstances also led this young woman in a downwards spiral that is an eating disorder.
Little did I know at that time that Anorexia would become familiar to me, but before I delve into that I must provide a little background. I had a wonderful childhood with amazing parents. My mom & dad are the kind of parents most kids dream of. My dad was hands-on & a big kid himself. He loved to play with us & take us on adventures. My mom was the sweetest, most caring, compassionate, & available mom. She was always open & willing to share & talk to me. She's the kind of mom that has cookies waiting on you when you get home from school, & who only has to look at you to know that something's wrong. It was not many years after my sad trip to the funeral home that I noticed that despite how wonderful my parents were with me & my siblings that they were people with lives & troubles of their own. My mom is a gorgeous woman. She has flawless ivory skin, beautiful eyes that change colors, high cheek bones...basically she has all the attributes that I only wish I had. I cannot say precisely when I realized that my mom was tiny, & I mean super tiny.  I think I was in 4th grade when my dad sat me & my siblings down to tell us that my mom was sick & that if she didn't start getting better soon then she might have to go away for awhile. To me, at that age, sick meant the flu or cancer...I had no idea that sick meant self-starvation or eating & purging. To this day I do not know if anyone sat me down & explained what anorexia was or if I learned about it at school & then put 2 & 2 together. Over a period of time it dawned on me that mom never ate the fantastic meals she fixed, or that as I lay in my bed (the bathroom & my room shared a wall) that the sound of vomiting wasn't because of the flu. I suddenly realized that my mom was sickly thin, thin enough that she could wear my clothes, the clothes of a 12 year old. I noticed as I hugged her that I could wrap my arms around twice if I wanted to. The more aware I became the more I noticed that what had once seemed normal to my innocent self, now looked desperately unhealthy. In the years that followed my mom has undergone a roller coaster ride of bouts of starvation & times of health. I remember times of begging her to eat.. I remember trying to distract her or divert her from the bathroom if she did happen to take a bite or two.I remember seeing her effortlessly putting on a size zero & still thinking that was too big. There were times I feared not having my mom with me on my wedding day, or seeing her hold her grandchildren. 
As soon as my mom realized that I was aware of her condition, she began a very open, honest, & heartfelt dialogue with me. She began to explain to me what an eating disorder was, & she began to explain to me why she suffered with one. My mom is a perfectionist, & she is driven to be so. I do not know the specific events that led to her anorexia/ bulimia, but I do know that at a young age my mom had heartache & blamed herself for the mistakes of others. Mom took those things as a sign of her imperfection & needed to take the reins & have control of something...& that something that manifested itself in an eating disorder. My mom was quick to see that I too had perfectionist tendencies, that I too struggled with feeling unworthy & inadequate, & she began to consciously teach me how to deal with failure, how to see my worth. She was transparent about the hardships she faced & the results of her eating disorder. (I want to pause here to thank my mom for this. I wholeheartedly believe that I might have followed the same path had she not been so honest & open. Thank you, Momma). 
As a teenager I became very aware of my appearance & there fore my weight. I am of muscular build & asa result  the number on the scale was larger than I thought it should be. On top of that I was a gymnast & a cheerleader so my muscles presented a bulky look rather than the long willowy look I desired. All throughout this time I kept in mind my mom's guidance & admonishment to not allow my mindset to create the problem for me that it had for her. One scarred memory is of being scouted by a prestigious college to join their cheer squad only to discover a secret weight limit of 95lbs. Luckily an injury took the decision out of my hands, but it still scares me to think the thoughts that went through my mind about how to lose the 5lbs necessary to be a part of that team. Even now as I struggle to lose baby weight & to feel attractive again, unhealthy thoughts flit through my mind, but daily I remember my mom's story, I see the repercussions of succumbing to an eating disorder, & I remember that I am made in the Lord's image. Scripture tells us that we are to offer our bodies as a temple to the Lord. He deserves far more than an emaciated shell. I choose to be a healthy and holy (holy as I can be anyways) offering to the Lord, & through that choice He has given me the strength time & again to see within myself the beauty that He sees. 
For  over 30 years my mom has struggled on & off to conquer this disease. I have seen her nearly on death's door, & I have seen her at the height of health. I am happy & proud to say that as of now my mom is winning the battle. She is the healthiest & looks the best I have ever seen her look, but the years of starvation & of purging have taken their toll. My mom now suffers from a weak heart & has had to undergo extensive work on her teeth due to erosion from purging. I am ever thankful for the beat of her heart & for God's protection & preservation of her life. I am ever conscious of the gift that she is as I watch her nurture & love my daughters. 
I know that distorted body image & discontent with appearance is an epidemic among women. I know that whether we act upon those emotions or merely think about them that they wreak havoc in our lives & create a chasm in our relationship with the Lord. We cannot fully be who He desires us to be if we hate what He created. More than anything I want to spare my daughters, & to spare you from feeling the pressure to achieve the world's version of beauty be it cosmetic or physically. Through thick or thin you have a Father who delights in you...who created you just for His enjoyment. You are a princess of the King of Kings, you are above the world's shallow perceptions & expectations. You are a gift & a treasure. I pray that the Lord will begin to touch your heart & to allow you to see yourself in this light.

*I want to thank my mom for allowing her story to be shared. It is her sincere wish that her story might spare others from walking the path that she has. If anyone struggles with an eating disorder or even only with self-deprecating thoughts please feel free to reach out to myself  if you so desire.

Proverbs 31:19

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"She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, 

   diligent in homemaking."

Quality: 

          Homemaker: Provides & creates a godly, happy, healthy, functioning  

          Diligent: Intentional in the performing of her tasks. 

Breakdown: 

To be direct & honest, a P31W is to be all the things that the world scorns a woman for being. Her first priority should be her household. Her role is to create a godly, happy, healthy, & well functioning hub for her family to retreat to. I strongly believe this means a return to bygone values & skills. This means a mother who makes well rounded, healthy meals for her family...and expects them to sit down at the table together to eat them (with the TV off). I think this means she keeps a clean & orderly house because that directly impacts the mental mindset of those who live there.  I believe she should be a mother not a friend to her children because a mother does not compromise on expectations so that her children will "like her".  I believe this means that if you can't afford to buy something then you make it. I think this means a mother who establishes such a loving and nurturing relationship and environment for her children that they do not need to seek elsewhere to find them. Furthermore a P31W is to be diligent in the pursuit of these skills. She should be intentional, not lackadaisical, in being a godly effective helpmate to her husband & mother to her children. Our world scorns this 1950's vision of femininity & traditionalism, but Sisters that does not mean that it is not what God desires & requires of us. I am in no way saying that every woman should be a stay-at-home wife & mother, that is between you, your husband, & the Lord. I am saying that regardless of a career in the home or out of it the priority, the focus, & the passion of her life should be her husband & children. I also admonish women whose career is homemaking to be intentional in that role as well. It is easy to get caught up in soap operas & romance novels. It's easy to pacify our children with television & toys so that we are free to do what we want...let us be diligent whether we spend all day in our homes or come home to it after being in the workplace. Very clearly in the above scripture is it stated that we are not only to be skilled in the keeping of our heart & home, but to be diligent in the task.

Application: 

Find an area of homemaking in which you struggle & intentionally work towards improving in that area.

Be conscious of the impact that you have upon your family, see how your hardwork & efforts give them a loving retreat to reside in & be blessed by that!

                      

Tinkerbell: Embracing Your Gifts & Talents

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The other day my girls & I were watching the movie, Tinkerbell, & as I watched I began to see a far deeper message than I'm sure the writers intended....
Quick Synopsis: A sweet little fairy named Tinkerbell is created with the gift of "Tinkering". She becomes discontented with her gift & envious of the talents of other fairies once she realizes that other fairies get to go to the "mainland." Throughout the movie Tinkerbell tries in vain to make herself into a Water Fairy, a Light Fairy, & an Animal Fairy...all because she perceives their gifts as better than hers. Her efforts create great calamity & jeopardize the overall mission of fairies being able to bring Springtime to the mainland. In the end however, Tinkerbell embraces the gift of tinkering & by using that talent is able to save Spring. The viewer realizes that all the fairies must do what they are created to do in order to complete the task of changing the seasons on the mainland.

Insight: As I said, I am sure that I took far more from this movie than the writers intended, but to me this movie is the perfect analogy to the Body of Christ. God has created each of us with various gifts & talents, each unique & made in His image...so often though we envy the gifts of others. God created so many gifts...singing, writing, serving, giving, teaching, nurturing, leading, healing, creating...the list goes on & on. He designed intricate personalities...some are meek & others bold, some are leaders & others followers, some are day dreamers & other are realistic, some are adventurous & others are grounded...but each role is necessary & beneficial to the kingdom. I have spent many years wishing I could sing, when just maybe I was meant to write...Many years wanting to heal when I was designed to nurture...Many years trying to lead, when I was truly meant to submit. In the past my denial of my gifts & attempts to steal others created strife & dissension, hurt pride & feelings of failure. Just like Tinkerbell, I was ineffective & even detrimental because I could not embrace the roles God desired me to fill...I was too busy envying the gifts He had given to others. Some gifts are glamorous from afar...we live in a world that thinks "The Grass is Greener on the Other Side". The Master Craftsman is calling us to trust in His design. Our Father is calling His children to be grateful for the Gifts He has given. The One who is Sovereign is asking for Faith that He has created Who we are for Where we are...I am talking about more than begrudgingly accepting your gifts, but for us to truly Embrace & Utilize them!
Some time ago I, like Tinkerbell, began to embrace Who I am & Where I am in the Lord...I can say that God has given to me ultimate peace & fulfillment in those roles. I do not sing...I write (perhaps not well, but it's what I do). Profound impact or small, I share my heart with all of you because that is what He desires me to do...not because of the glory that it brings me but because it is my hope that it will bring glory to Him. I stopped trying to lead my family, but learned to submit to the headship of my husband, and by doing so I feel cherished & priceless to him. My gift is not healing, but nurturing.  For so long I have wanted to heal the hurts of those in my life, when what God has called me to is to steadfastly nurture their love for Him. Very recently God has begun a work of healing in my dearest friend, perhaps in small part because I stopped trying to heal her hurts but began nurturing her seed of faith...that's my role in her life.  Please hear my heart Sisters, I am not tooting my own horn, but hoping to show how the embracing of my gifts has born fruit, and how my rejection of them brought destruction or in the very least rendered me ineffective.
God designed His people as a Body, a unified system on individual parts. Just as our bodies struggle to function efficiently when a piece is missing, so too does the Body of Christ when we do not embrace our place within it. Just as the goal of the fairies was to change the seasons on the mainland, our goal is to reach our "Mainland destination" & to bring as many with us as we can. Just as Tinkerbell jeopardized that mission by refusing her gift, so do we harm the Lord's when we deny the talents He has bestowed upon us.


 I pray that as we strive to be Proverbs 31 Women that we will embrace the precious gifts our Father has placed within us, & that we will utilize them for His glory... 


*Romans 12:4-8 (Message Version)

^4-6In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.
 ^6-8If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.

Proverbs 31:16, 24

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"She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she's put aside, she plants a garden." (16)

"She designs gowns & sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops." (24)

Qualities: 

Partner: a person with whom one shares an intimate relationship, someone who shares the burden

Entrepreneur:  One who organizes, manages, & discovers ways of making a profit.

Contributor:  To play a part in bringing about

Breakdown:

In my interpretation of Proverbs 31, both of the above verses describe the same 3 attributes of a godly woman. It is more common than not in this day & age for women to bring home a substantial, if not equal, paycheck. Women assume much of the responsibility of providing for their families. (For the record this responsibility truly should rest upon the man's shoulders, but that's an altogether different topic) Likewise there are a vast number of women whose contribution to the family can not nor is measured in dollars and cents. Regardless of the method by which a woman provides for their family, a godly woman should contribute. I want to be very clear here & say that there is no judgement nor condemnation for the working woman nor for the homemaker. I greatly admire women who work full time & then come home to also fulfill the duties required there...I personally am not strong enough nor sound of mind enough to do that. I also want to challenge us stay-at-home wives & mothers to make our time at home worthwhile. We must be  purposefully engaged with our children, maintain our homes properly. Our contribution comes in the form of full bellies & clean clothes, and it is often easy to feel like a burden upon our spouses because a weekly deposit is not made in our name. As mentioned in the previous post we must realize our worth & be fulfilled in that. The P31W described in these verses takes it upon herself to not only maintain hearth & home, but to also be an entrepreneur. She "puts aside or saves money & with it buys a field" & from this we can deduce that she's made an investment. As a farmer's wife I can vouch for the fact that buying land is always a wise investment. Land, when planted with a crop, pays for itself over & over again. The P31W invested in something that she knew would provide a continuous income from her family. She also plants a garden, another venture that reaps rewards...food in bellies. In verse 24 this multi-talented woman once again puts her skills to use & makes a profit by selling clothes in shops. This homemaker finds multiple ways to contribute to her family...she is a partner to her spouse & shares his burden of provision. We must partner with our spouse, not carry his burdens upon our shoulders alone, but share the weight. 

*I will interject here that we have the ability to determine just how truly difficult it is to provide. Our culture is notorious for viewing wants as needs & for bogging ourselves down with the pursuit of them. Hear my heart sisters, do not allow the selfish desires for wants to put your family under financial strain or to take you from the ones who need you most. It is altogether fitting, appropriate & responsible to meet familial needs but it is tragic & wrong to allow wants to become an idol. 

Application: 

Contribute: Acknowledge the worth of what you do for your family. If this message convicted you then make a concentrated effort to step up your endeavors in assisting your mate be it financially or at home

Entrepreneur: Consider ways that provide added income or meet needs such as clothing or food. Perhaps it's having a yard sale, or making a craft & selling it. 

Partner: Be sure to share the weight of your spouse's burden. Don't assume the entirety of it, but walk in unity. 

Proverbs 31:15,17, & 18

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"She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day." (15)

"First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started." (17)

"She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day." (18)

Quality:

           Motivated: An aggressively enterprising person, A Go-Getter

           Organized: Having a plan & carrying it out, systematic, uncluttered

           Eager:  Enthusiastic desire

           Put Together: PJ's do not qualify as an outfit!

           Hardworking: Industrious, diligent, not lazy

           Fulfilled: Gratified, Satisfied to the Full

Breakdown:

Vs. 15:  The P31W (Proverbs 31 Woman) is not a woman that has to be wrestled away from her bed in the mornings...I wonder how many of you "snooze" pushers are groaning at the deduction! Now hear my heart, Sisters, I am not saying that a godly woman must be a chipper morning person, but I am saying that she does not lie abed while there are tasks that need accomplished. A P31W meets the day, ready to conquer the never-ending tasks that await her. How many of us prepare a daily breakfast for our families?  Not I! Around here we usually toss a Poptart in the toaster & call it good! I personally believe that this phrase, while it could be taken literally, truly alludes to the fact that as a wives & mothers we set the tone of the day for our loved ones. A cranky, frazzled woman is no delight to be around, and naturally her sour mood will dampen the spirits of those around her. This "Morning Person" trait is not natural to everyone, but I firmly believe that with a sincere heart & positive attitude that it can be acquired. We must be self-motivated to begin our day & to accomplish all that lies before us. If a task must be performed regardless of mood, how much better is it to enjoy the process rather than grumble about it? The next quality found in this verse is that the P31W is to be organized. It is far easier & less intimidating to face the day if we know & are prepared for what the day holds. Having a household where things have their place & clutter is minimal, visually & mentally allows a peace of mind. Rushing around searching for things that we need "right now" would frazzle anyone! 

Vs. 17: For those of us women whose career consists of endless loads of laundry, changing diapers, dusting, mopping, vacuuming, dishes...(the list goes on, and on, and on) it's very easy to look at the clock & realize it's noon and you're still in your PJ's. Housewives of the world, do not close this blog in frustration or conviction there is no condemnation here! I personally find myself in that precise position at least several times a week, if not more. There are several reasons to identify being put together as a quality of the P31W; #1. Getting dressed, doing our hair, maybe even a touch of makeup instantly gives us a boost mentally & emotionally. For whatever reason it is far easier to be motivated when we feel good (even if only mildly) about our appearance. At the very least let's brush our teeth! If we're going to wear sweats, make it a cute pair!  #2. Despite the endless tasks a woman completes in a day, our husbands arriving home to find us still in PJ's gives the perception of laziness. (Please don't flog me, I'm merely being honest).In my mind I envision old episodes of "I Love Lucy" in which she dawns a dress & heels then props herself up elegantly on the couch just as Ricky enters saying, "Honey, I'm Home!"  A bit extreme, yes, but there is something to be said for be somewhat appealing when your husband comes through the door. Personally I would like to catch my hubby's eye after a long day apart...and I'm sure baby vomit on my shirt leaves a lot to be desired! #3. Our appearance, right or wrong, gives others an instant opinion of our character, again right or wrong. I am not saying we should overly worry about the opinions of others, & nor am I saying that this is an excuse to spend a lavish amount of money on our appearance.I am saying that I reflect upon my husband & my children, & I want that reflection to be favorable. Stilettos to the grocery store? I think not, but PJ's probably aren't the way to go either. Dare the writer of Proverbs 31 imply that we should look upon the overflowing laundry hamper with giddy excitement? I think he did! It's not enough to go through our day begrudgingly performing the tasks required of us, Our Father expects more from a P31W than that. We need to approach each task with a gratefulness that we are in a position to serve our families.

Vs. 18: The P31W "senses the worth of her work." She has not bought into the lies of society that degrade the tasks of a homemaker. She knows that without her the family would not operate smoothly nor happily. She knows that she works hard, be it in the home or in the workplace, & she is fulfilled in her role. I speak in particular to housewives because a grave injustice has been served to those who dare endeavor to remain home. So far has our culture strayed from it's traditional values that a homemaker is now viewed in a derogatory manner. Rise up women of faith & be proud of & fulfilled in your calling! Every contribution matters, be it a paycheck or the care taking of hearth & home. The end of this verse refers back to the qualities of being motivated & hardworking. We should endeavor to end the day with the same positive attitude with which we began it or if it is a bad day then strive to end it well. 

Application:

1. Strive to be motivated, to become a "Go-Getter"

2. If life is frazzled & frantic begin to organize. Buy a planner, post a calender, make a weekly menu, clean up & de-clutter the house

3. Serve with a grateful heart. When tasks frustrate you look upon the work as a blessing. A dirty dish is a sign that there is enough food to feed your family, laundry means they are clothed, beds to make + soft place to lay their heads, & so on 

4. For 1 week challenge yourself to get "Put Together" each day...look back at the end of the week & see if it was worth it, what were the changes you notice

5. Complete tasks, don't put them off, do them well

6. Realize the worth of your efforts, even if others don't! Be fulfilled where the Lord has you. The home, the office, the workplace...that is your missionfield, so be His hands, feet, & voice to those around you!

Shopaholic Diva: The Search for Satisfaction

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For awhile this message has been on my heart, but I haven't been able to put it into words...I wasn't sure if I was meant to, but this morning a dear friend, & a true Proverbs 31 Woman sent a word of encouragement that provided me with confirmation. Sweet Miriam sent me this verse,

"Blessed are those who hunger & thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled." (Matthew 5:6)

Not coincidentally the verse of the day on Biblegateway.com was this,

"What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?" (Mark 8:36)

One look at the Western culture & it's easy to see that morality is low & self-seeking materialism is high on the totem pole of priorities. We are a nation that is never content, never satisfied with what we have. There is always something more to obtain...and surely once that object has been had then fulfillment will come. People will go to the ends of the earth to seek "happiness." This ridiculous "need" for more has led to devastating results. Not long ago in a pitiful display of greed, several people were trampled to death as crazed shoppers mobbed a store in order to purchase a limited edition pair of athletic tennis shoes...no joke.

I want to address several specific areas that I believe all women, even godly ones are tempted in:

Physically: Women "need" to feel & be viewed as beautiful. We view beauty in the world's terms: thin body, big bust, little nose, & so on. Sisters, Barbie is a plastic doll for a reason, her appearance is unobtainable...literally. I once read an article about the health problem a woman would have if she did in fact possess Barbie's physique...not pleasant I assure you! Eating disorders & plastic surgery are common place because we women feel such pressure & need to fit into the stereotype of a beautiful woman. Our Father makes clear that true beauty comes from within. I have met many outwardly gorgeous women whose insides made their appearance unappealing, & on the same accord women who physical characteristics are not up to the world's standard yet their disposition makes them radiate beauty.

1 Peter 3:4 "What matters is not your outward appearance, the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, or the cut of your clothes-but your inner disposition."

Financially: Perhaps the most broad area of discontentment stems from the things that money buys. A bigger home, a nicer car, fancy clothes, travel, jewelry...the list goes on & on...would most certainly make us happy.  Down in the dumps? Go Shopping! A new outfit is just what you need! That bulky lap top too heavy to carry? Get an iPad, it fits in your purse! Sick of Indiana weather? Fly to Hawaii! It's Valentine's Day, better be getting diamonds! Now I am being sarcastic & extreme, but the truth is that we often believe that something we could buy would make life easier or more pleasant. Many, many, many families are financially strapped because they have maxed out credit cards & confused their "wants" with their "needs." Financial strain is widely known to be a major cause of marital & familial dissent & breakdown...big problem! Not to mention we raise our children with a false sense of entitlement...simply by existing they deserve brand name clothes, smart phones, & a car at 16. There's the wise old saying, "You can't buy happiness."...It's true. There's also the biblical saying, "Money is the root of all evil." (1 Timothy 6:9-10)

Matthew 6:24 "You can't worship God & Money both."

Emotionally: Marriages are ruined daily because women "need" more romance or because men "need" a better love life & as a result enter into affairs. Fairy tales, novels, & movies have so outrageously exaggerated & glamorized romance that women have unrealistic expectations of relationships & marriage. The man who fails to meet those wild fantasies of romance just must not be "the one" for her & therefore the search continues whether within the escape of romance novels or in the adultery of an affair. We are so needy of approval & affirmation that we sell out our values to "fit in" or be accepted, & feel utterly distraught if we fail to do so. How often is the root cause of a suicide or a school shooting because a person felt the sting or rejection? 
Matthew 6:21 "Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be."

With all of my heart I believe that this Plague of Discontentment is Satan's greatest weapon against the Kingdom. Satan doesn't have to convince us to be atheists to keep us away from God, he merely has to distract us. He plants a seed of discontentment in areas of our lives & suddenly our focus shifts from the Father to the fault. Countless verses make clear that true happiness, complete fulfillment, & utter satisfaction can only be found in communion with the Father.  I desire this for myself & for you...

Philippians 4:10 "I am glad in God,far happier than you would ever guess...I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned to be quite content in my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am."

Proverbs 31:13-14

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"She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,

   and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises"

Quality:
             Thrifty: Thriving by industry & frugality, good management
             Frugal: Characterized by wisdom in the use of resources
             Thorough: Carried through to completion, careful about detail, having full mastery

Breakdown:
 To me this verse speaks of the 3 above mentioned character qualities. This woman is not a one-stop-shop kinda lady. When the P31W (Proverbs 31 Woman) goes shopping, she does so with sales fliers & coupons in hand! She is a woman who puts the resources that her husband (& perhaps herself) provides to the best possible use. She wisely manages their finances & seeks out the best quality for the best price. The qualities of thriftiness & frugality are imperative for several reasons. 1. Any married woman will tell you that one main source of strife between husband & wife occurs due to financial stress. 2.  Many women are prone to overspending which in turn leads to financial stress, ergo marital conflict. 3. The more financial demands within a family = the more work required to produce funds for those demands = less time spent with the family = less time with family results in a weak family unit. The ability to be wise with financial resources greatly & positively impacts a woman's life...whether she is single or married with a family. The final quality that I believe this verse addresses is the ability to be thorough, and by this I mean the ability  to carry to completion the qualities of frugality & thriftiness. It is one thing to desire & intend to be those things but it is an entirely different matter to actually practice them.  It is easy to make a budget, far harder to adhere to it.

Application:
How I wish that as a young woman I would have learned to make a budget, to coupon, to save money, & so on...instead I learned those things because financially I had no choice but to do so! Young women, I implore you, seek to learn those skills! Ask your mothers to counsel you in this subject, under her tutelage begin practicing these methods.Fellow Wives & Mothers, it's never too late to learn these qualities!  In my household we allot a set budget for groceries each week & I strive to come in lower than my designated amount. I personally am going to begin setting side the amount I save to use towards a family getaway. For example if my weekly budget is $150 & I only spend $130 then $20 goes put into the Getaway Jar. It makes saving & the effort to do so far more worthwhile when I have a goal in mind.  For those blessed with wealth, be grateful for the lack of financial stress & perhaps find ways to gift others. "To Whom Much is Given, Much is Required". Foremost rid yourself of debt. If you can easily pay all the bills, then begin to pay extra on any debt. Once debt free begin mastering the quality of Generosity!

Confession: I generally do okay in this skill set, but I stray quite often. I'm confessing openly that I could be more wise with our finances...I will be striving towards this end, I will work towards becoming more Thorough.

The Pearl

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Sunday at church an astoundingly wise young lady shared something that truly touched my heart & got my mind to thinking. She spoke about the formation of a pearl. Little did I know that such a beautiful, rare little gem is formed in a nasty oyster, and not only that but it's formation comes about through the rubbing & irritation of millions of grains of sand over time. Miss Abigail shared that information & then took the idea to a spiritual level. A tiny grain of sand seems insignificant & useless, but combine that one small object with millions of others like it & the potential is amazing.

Our lives are like that oyster shell,. rough, perhaps even nasty, but when we allow the Lord into our hearts such amazing potential resides within.Before life with Jesus, trials, troubles, & heartache make life seem hopeless...and in fact without Him it is, but with the grace of God upon us we must begin to look at the hardships we face with a new mindset. We live in a fallen world, among fallen people...bad things, annoying things, big obstacles, & minute bumps will always be a fact of life upon this earth whether we have faith or not, but with a heart set upon the Lord the conditions are prime for a miracle. Just as with the oyster shell, conditions must be just right for the potential of the formation of a pearl, and such is the case with the human existence. We are a mere flawed shell, but Christ within our lives provides the perfect setting for the creation of something precious...A Life Lived in Reflection of Jesus. The troubles & annoyances faced in life are just as those grains of sand...they irritate us & rub us raw. The combination of those troubles over time can create something magnificent...a priceless, beautiful person. How much easier is it to walk through those difficult times with the knowledge & the hope of such a precious end result? We must set our minds to view the rough times for just what they are, moments of refining beauty & of removing the flaws.

I must say that as a hopeless romantic, I notice the jewelry women wear. I can say that over the years I have noticed that you can tell a lot about a woman by the jewelry she wears. Have you ever noticed the kind of woman that wears pearls?  She is cultured, refined, wealthy but not showy about it. She is a lady (by that I mean genteel), polite, traditional...much the way I imagine a Proverbs 31 woman would look like. A pearl is rare & beautifully formed, so will we be, Sisters of My Heart, if we allow life to refine us rather than rub us raw. We must be immersed in the culture of our faith, refined in a manner that allows us to reflect Jesus, wealthy in the riches of faith. we must be polite & sincere with our interactions with others, & traditional in the sense that we delight in the steadfast, never changing ways of our Father. We have the power decide how we allow these hardships to alter us, for the better or for the worse..we must take the reins of our minds & steer our thoughts, attitude, & actions in a positive direction.

One final tidbit...nearly every stone of great worth (Diamonds, Rubies, Emeralds, Amethysts,  & so on) are found within rock. Our God is not a God of Irony or Coincidence but a God of Purpose and a Plan. Rare, Beautiful, Priceless Jewels are Found upon The Rock, My Sisters!

I desire to be a pearl, molded & formed into a beautiful, priceless, & rare gift for my Father...I want that for you as well...

*John 15:1-17

5 Questions to Ask Yourself when Dating

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Hi! I am Lauren from The A* Team! Brianne asked me to share thoughts on this blog occasionally and it's a great fit for me because I desire young women everywhere to walk in freedom, truth and victory. 

I meet many girls whose standards are far too low when it comes to opposite sex relationships. God's Word instructs in Proverbs 4:23 that we are to guard our hearts, because it is the wellspring of LIFE. I see too many girls taking risks with their time, money, energy, and lives on boys who don't share their faith, ambition, or love for Jesus. 

Has no one told you that God has more for you than mediocre relationships? If not, let me be the first.

I've prepared a few questions for you to ask in regard to young men with whom you spend time. I wish someone would have told me this in high school...it would have spared me much heartache!!


1. How does he handle authority?
We spend our whole lives under different types of authority. At church (our pastors), at work (our boss), at school (administration/teachers), and the most important authority figure, the LORD. how does the guy respond to those above him? Does he honor them or speak disrespectfully to them? Does he nod when they ask him to do something and then do it with a careless attitude, or does he do things diligently with an eye for excellence? If he has a teachable spirit, he will behave in a manner worthy of the respect of those over him. Keep in mind that this is someone you are interested in spending your life with, and if he doesn't care for or listen to authority, how will he lead you? How will he hold a job and support your family? Would he stand up against unjust practices in the workplace or school environment, even if it means losing his position under ungodly employers? Will his positive attitude make him benefit those who depend on him? This is crucial because it reveals to you at least in part how he responds to God's leadership in his life. 

2. How does he react to adversity?
We had not yet been dating a year when my husband Seth met my extended family for the first time. It was not the most ideal way to meet them because my mom was very close to death. Yet it caught my eye that Seth handled that meeting, the illness of my mom, and even an embarrassing flat tire in front of all of my family with grace, humility and gentleness, not anger and frustration. I remember that night as a moment when I knew he could be trusted in adversity. 
Ladies, you will face a lot of difficult circumstances in your life. Watch for how men react in those moments, because it's easy to talk cute and have a kind tone of voice when everything is rosy. I encourage you to keep your eye on how he handles things like when someone ruins the big game on the DVR, or a forgetful waiter, or having to go out of his way when he's not expecting to. This will reveal much about his character and whether he can be trusted in minor inconveniences (like flat tires) and it great tragedy (like losing a loved one).

3. Does his life reflect authenticity?
Is this man really who he pretends to be? Does he have one side that everyone sees and then another that you claim to see when you're alone? Be careful. Honest people let you know who they are and don't confuse you with different personalities in different situations. Observe how he acts around your friends, and then with his. Does he make crude jokes depending on the audience? Does he stand up for the bullied one all the time, or just when his friends aren't around? You want to find a man who is consistent in character: upstanding all the time. Authentic people don't cheat on their spouses or steal money from their company or abuse others. If you see an honest life that doesn't change for an audience, that is someone worthy of respect!

4. Does he seek out accountability?
Look for a man who has others asking him good questions about his walk with Christ, his behavior when no one is around, and the way he gets along with his parents. If he cares enough to have others help him, that means that he wants to be the best man he can be. You want a man who has male friends that challenge him. Friends with goals and ambition and drive. This will help him be a better man and is a good indicator of what I mentioned in point 1 -- someone with an ability to learn from others. 

5. Does he demonstrate action toward reaching his goals?
Does he have a "want to" ? Does he go to work and do a good job? Does he do his homework and show up for class? If not, he will soon be looking for someone to care for him and he is not mature enough for a relationship. A man who sticks to something is rare these days because many people quit if things are hard. I dare you to look for a man who has goals and ambitions and doesn't sit in the basement playing Halo all day while his mother brings him juice boxes. I challenge you to hold out for a man who works at everything he does as though doing it for Jesus himself, including winning your heart. That will be a fun job for a man who loves hard work!

These are just a few guidelines in hopes that you will be able to discern whether a young man is worth having in your life. 

Father, I pray for every young woman who reads this. Encourage her to hide herself in You, Lord. May she trust you in all areas and be honest with herself regarding the standards that You have set before her and hold to those standards even when it may mean a small bit of disappointment now, but victory and healthy relationships later. Help her to see that You are the only One who can give her the affirmation she needs. Because of Jesus, Amen.

Honor Your Father & Mother

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It is common knowledge that during teen years most young men & women rebel against their parents. Through attitude, action, & spoken word blatant & sometimes covert disrespect is given to the ones who created life. Society has glorifies this phase of life & deemed it “normal” & “healthy” for teens & young adults to push the boundaries that parents have set in place. Even the ultra conservative & traditional Amish community has set apart a time in a child’s life to experience the forbidden if they so choose. Perhaps you, my sister, are in the very midst of this phase of life.  Lovingly I tell you that there is nothing “healthy or normal” about a rebellious & disobedient spirit in a daughter of the Most High.  Far more than it reflects strained relations between a teen & his/her parents it shows a gap between that individual & the Lord.

                There most assuredly is a time to begin thinking & making decisions for oneself. That is a right & good skill to cultivate, but there is a stark difference between developing independence & in testing waters proven to be dangerous. For years many of you have lived under the upbringing of godly & righteous parents, & your coming of age is not a granting of permission to now do that which was formerly forbidden. This behavior is akin to telling a child that it is suddenly permissible to touch a hot stove after years of instruction not to do so. Sisters, common sense tells you that touching a hot stove will leave you burned. It also tells you that drunkenness is dangerous & foolhardy, sexual & emotional promiscuity will leave you broken hearted, & association with immoral peers will lead to a breakdown in your own values. Many by action & word disregard the admonishments of their parents to see for themselves if their endless lecturing is indeed accurate. Perhaps more common among Christian young women is a rebellion in attitude & in the secret of our thoughts & emotions. Disobedience & rebellion whether performed outwardly or merely pondered are a sign of something far more tragic than typical teen behavior…they are a symbol of a lack of honor for our Heavenly Father.

                 On a tablet of stone God demanded that we honor our fathers & mothers. Such a command was placed in such high importance not merely because we ought to revere the ones who gave us life, but also because through the practice of honoring our earthly parents, we understand how to honor God.  Honoring is different than obeying. To honor is to revere, respect, & hold in high esteem, & through the process of honoring obedience follows naturally. How is it possible for one to revere the intangible God, if we cannot first honor the parents that we can see, hear, & touch?  As a daughter of the King of Kings, you are under the Lord’s authority, & as a daughter of your earthly parents you are also under their headship.

                For those of you who have not had the blessing of parents who serve the Lord, I understand entirely. I grew up in a household that only sporadically attended church. Unless commanded by your guardians to out rightly violate God’s right & wrong, honor your parents. It is my unwavering prayer that by my faithfulness to the Lord that my parents might one day know His grace. Your godly example might very well be an integral piece of the puzzle in your parent’s salvation.

                Sisters, I pray that you see my heart in this letter. I do not expect you to be robotic, emotionless, &opinionless pieces of perfection, but I do hope that when questions arise within you that you would seek out the counsel of your parents, me, or whomever you feel comfortable with. Rather than act out, discover truth. Parents will without a doubt at times be overbearing & even annoying, but always, always their desire is for you to grow into adulthood as wise & unscathed as possible.  To close I was to lay to rest one final argument of teens.  Yes times have changed & the world’s standards are a far cry from what they used to be, but the God you serve is unchanging. & unwavering. Right will always be right & wrong will perpetually be wrong. Choose to honor.

                Be Blessed,

Bri Davidson

Real Romance vs. Fairytale Expectation

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There was once a boy who was interested in a girl. He wanted to ask her out in a very sweet way and went to great lengths to do so. When he discovered that the yellow rose was her favorite flower, he sent her a dozen along with a note. It said, “I think you are as beautiful as these roses. Would you consider allowing me to take you to dinner?” Here is another story. A man & his bride were celebrating their 1^st Christmas as husband and wife. The man handed his wife an oddly shaped box & could scarcely keep the grin from his face as she opened the gift. The young woman held her breath in anticipation at what gift her beloved had chosen to honor their first holiday together. The wrapping paper fell away to reveal a brown canvas coat. Which story strikes you as the most romantic? It seems like a silly question & perhaps it is until you hear the conclusion of each.  In the first story, the girl was knowledgeable of the fact that the man’s character did not match up with his sweet gesture & she turned him down. Only a few weeks later that man began pursuing her very own younger sister. In the 2^nd story, the young man helped his wife try on the coat & with love in his voice he told her of how he noticed that her good coat got dirty every time they went to feed the cows together.  “Now you know you belong on the farm with me,” he told her.  Sister, truly I tell you that more love & romance filled that first Christmas moment than even 12 dozen roses could begin to display.  I know because these stories are both mine.

                I am a romantic at heart. In all of my dating experiences there was no lack of romantic gestures as a guy pursued me. Flowers, cards, love notes, gifts, & special dates…all the things we grow up believing are actions reflecting love. But let me tell you dear one, romance does not a relationship make! As girls we grow up with fairytales…princesses in need of rescuing, & the prince or hero always comes in the nick of time.  As teenagers & young women we become absorbed with romance novels & movies that further this perception.  Let me pause and say this: It may be a very wise decision indeed to put down those books. I confess that love stories, Christian romance novels are a weakness of mine, & as much as I enjoy reading them they have skewed my judgment & expectation of what romance truly is.  I implore you that if you cannot read these stories as they were intended (works of fiction) to not allow yourself to be swept away by the unrealistic expectations that they create.  As young women entering into dating or courtship without even realizing it, we hold these grand dreams of romance.  Our beau, our prince, our knight in shining armor will shower us with these tokens of love without fail for the rest of our days.  We believe that, even if it seems silly to admit. When the guy disappoints us by not making these gestures at all or by allowing them to dwindle over time, we write that poor boy off as inconsiderate & insincere. Perhaps I read too much into this, but I have come to believe strongly that Satan gives we women a false expectation & understanding of romance in order to set relationships up for failure. When women become discontented & frustrated with the lack of romance in their relationship, they disengage, become resentful, & ultimately even if does not end in divorce, the relationship fails. When the marriage relationship fails, the family fails. Satan will do anything to destroy a family, because God bring His love into our comprehension through marriage…through family.  I learned this the hard way.

                I spent a good portion of my first year of marriage lamenting the fact that my husband did not love me because he wasn’t endlessly showering me with gestures of romance. Where were the flowers?  The love letters? I’m ashamed now to admit that had the Lord not intervened I very well might have let it ruin our marriage. God in His grace began opening my eyes to the countless ways in which John daily showed me his love. As the transformation of my heart took place I was astounded to see that my husband had been romancing me all along in real, deep, meaningful, & purposeful ways. God designed us as women to crave romance. There is nothing wrong with wanting that in your marriage, but I now know that it is vital for us to understand what romance truly is. I believe that true romance is merely the acting out of Christ-like qualities. The fruits of the Spirit when shown to you by a man are romantic gestures. We always refer to 1 Corinthians 13 as the Love Chapter.  What does it say that love is? Patience, kindness, humility, a calm-forgiving nature, protection, provision, hopefulness, & trust…these things given to you by the one you love are the greatest examples of love that we women could as for.  When I saw these qualities in my husband, displayed towards me and even towards others I fell in love with him all over again.  Daily I fall deeper in love with my John, because daily he becomes more a man after God’s heart.  When I hear my husband preach, when he picks up hitchhikers from the side of the road, when he plays with my daughters…he woos me. 

I am so grateful that God has taught me to see romance through His eyes, & I hope that my sharing this saves you the heartache that I endured for a time.  Desire romance sisters, you should, but please grasp it as it should be understood.  Roses and love notes are wonderful, but even the most ardent suitor will eventually cease these gestures or at the very least they become meaningless. A man who exhibits Christ’s love will Always be winning your heart, even when you are old and gray. I pray that God fills your soul with a longing & understanding of realistic romance & of godly expectations for the love of your life. As a daughter & a princess of the Most High, you are worthy of such love, but you are also obligated to reciprocate it as well. Do not allow yourself to enter courtship under the world’s view of romance, I can promise you that you will be disappointed if you do. Pray for this insight, but also look for it in your father’s behavior towards your mother, & when love comes your way you too will be continuously wooed by the man God created just for you.

Be Blessed,

Bri Davidson

Courtship vs. Dating

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If you are anything like me, the foremost desire of your heart is to be loved. At a young age I began searching for it (love). From my early teens until the age of 21, I time & again had serious relationships. I can now admit that it was immature & even ungodly love, but at the time I did not think so. In fact in each relationship I felt certain that I had found ‘The One’, & quite obviously is that each & every time I was wrong. I left each encounter with a broken heart, a deep sense of failure, & an utter lack of understanding about what God intended for romantic love. When I was 18 I was so certain that I had found love that I became engaged to my high school sweetheart. He was charming, handsome, respectful, & everything I thought a husband should be except for one thing. He was not a man after God’s heart. Oh, he believed in the Lord, but he did not pursue Him. Sister, when the Bible speaks of being unequally yoked, I firmly believe it extends even to this. There is a stark difference between believing & pursuing. 6 months before my wedding day, God confronted me with this truth. Our relationship ended, & I made a commitment to stop searching for love. I vowed not to pursue it until God hit me over the head with it (He did, & that’s another story I’ll share in another letter). I, for the first time, truly allowed the Lord to be the lover of my heart & of my soul, & I was (still am) fulfilled in that love. I tell you this personal history of mine to lead in to the topic of this letter: Courtship vs. Dating.

                These 2 words are in no way interchangeable, although many people try to use them that way. I grew up with & experienced a dating mentality before I made my vow to the Lord. I want to define that practice & share with you it’s downfalls. Dating is when a guy & a girl acknowledge feelings beyond friendship & spend time “getting to know” each other. This may at times be done in group settings but most often occurs one-on-one. It continues for an indefinite amount of time & has 1 of 2 outcomes: the couple eventually agrees to some level of commitment, or they part ways. Our society, & more specifically Satan, has ran wild with this ritual. Growing up we are convinced that we must begin sorting through our prospects. They would have us believe that we must experience many before you can know ‘the one’. Here is the danger, just as in my situation dating leads to intimacy (even if it’s only emotional). I offered my heart many times, & the truth is I did not see it for the gift it truly was. I determined early on that I would practice abstinence, & I upheld that vow. When I finally met my true soulmate, I was devastated to discover that I regretted even the hands I had held…the kisses I’d given away so carelessly. Those small acts of affection, of intimacy, are a gift for he who holds your heart for a lifetime, not those that hold if for a moment. The manner is which dating is done, alone or in private, is a recipe for disaster. It is hard to maintain physical boundaries when no one is around to hold you accountable.  The best of intentions are thrown to the wind in the midst of passion. Another pitfall is the casual manner in which dating is done. Some date multiple people at a time. As young women, we often begin giving our boyfriends the essence of who we are, our hearts, before we ever get anything in return. Our world has made this act laid back & mundane, so much so that it no longer has any value.  What is the goal of dating?  To be in a relationship, then to get engaged, maybe possibly marry? Satan has encouraged this ritual because more than it leads to love it leads to an unhealthy self-image & to broken hearts. It destroys the essence of what God is about, Agape love (marriage love), selfless love. We date because everyone our age does. I cannot believe that our Father intended for his precious daughters to fall in & out of love at random time & again.  So what’s the alternative?

                Courtship.  After being burned by my own continuous mistakes & finally seeking God’s heart on the matter, I came to understand that Courtship is the way to find a godly love. First let me define it. Courtship is when a guy & a girl acknowledge feelings beyond friendship & begin spending time together with the intention of marriage. The very decision ‘to court’ is a commitment in & of itself. Before a couple enters in to this they should already know much about each other. Pursuit of the Lord, values, hopes for the future, character, & etc. should be understood & in sync for both. It is different from dating, there is no “getting to know eachother”. Individuals who enter into courtship should already feel strongly that God is guiding them towards a lifelong commitment. Books & messages on the topic put courtship on a rough timeline.  A typical courtship generally (not always) lasts a year or a little more. Here’s how a courtship looks: A couple make known to family & friends their intent. For around 3 mo. (give or take) the couple actively spends time together. This is rarely done completely alone, but within the company of parents, family, friends or a chaperone. The reason is to curb temptation & that there should be nothing to hide. The motive is pure. At the end of that time period the couple most often becomes engaged but can also parts ways. The engagement is short, usually 6-9 mo. Time enough to plan the wedding, prepare for the responsibilities of marriage, & to make plans for a home & provision. A year or slightly more after the courtship has begun, if God so wills it, a marriage takes place.  This is not a schedule set in stone, but a rough guide by which to timeline events for several reasons. 1. Courtship has the intent of marriage. 2. When 2 people are in love it is only right & normal for passion to spark, short engagement helps the couple to abstain.

                Are you ready to court?  How do you know?  Knowing what I know now I would say that unless you are prepared to be married there is no sense in courting.  Do not tease nor tempt yourself.  There is nothing to be gained from prematurely entering into intimacy physical or emotional. Talk to your parents.  I hope that you choose to court vs. date.  If you do, discuss their hopes for your courtship. Learn how to manage a household, cook, clean, offer to baby-sit to aid in learning how to mother, manage your finances or ask your parents to teach you to budget. Temper your flaws & study how to become a Proverbs 31 woman.  Be open with them & ask them to let you know when they feel that you are ready. Pray & find fulfillment in the Lord without the love of a man. I believe God does not desire us to be alone, but I also believe that HE will bring the man to you, you won’t have to look. The Bible speaks precious little about  dating/courtship, but what it does speak about is marriage…that is God’s heart.  He desires it for us so that we might understand how He loves us.

                I close with this, my life is an example of what not to do, but it is also a display of God’s grace. The Lord gave me the perfect love story when I started letting Him write it. Share your heart with me about this topic.  Your mistakes, your questions, your arguments. I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

Be Blessed Dear Sister,

Bri Davidson

The Dance: Intentional Living

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Our lives are a dance, full of turns: wrong ones and right, with plenty of leaps: ones of faith and ones of fear, and more kicks than we care to endure.  I was a dancer, and I once was a dance coach.  Music, no matter the kind, propels my body to move, and this movement is the expression of the story found in the music.  The music of God's love within me impacts me in the same manner.  My actions and lifestyle, my dance of life, are the expression of my soul.   

When we are in tune, in sync, with the Spirit, our lives flow intricately along God’s will for us. There are times when we lose the rhythm and in those times our steps, our dance, becomes rambling and deviant.  Our dance is also subjective to the music that provides the background.  In this world there are many types of melodies and just as many diverse forces that sway the cadence of our lives.  The music of my life is Christ's love, and the Spirit is the rhythm of my actions. 

What is the music of your life?  What does your dance of life look like? Does your dance resemble the forces of society, a dance that is suggestive and impure? Or is your dance propelled by faith, lyrical of beauty and love? 

A final thought is this: dance is a personal expression, but many view that expression whether we want them to or not.  What impression does your dance leave your audience with? When we leave this earth and people look back on the performance that is our life’s dance, how will they remember it?  It is my hope that people will look back on my dance and say that it conveyed the love of Christ and the faithfulness of a Godly woman.  At the end of every majestic performance is a finale, and you have the opportunity to determine what that finale may be. Will your finale be only the commencement, an eternity of dancing before your Maker, or will the curtains merely close and the dance end?

Each of our lives is a dance, but life is no dress rehearsal, our grand debut is now. 

Enjoy the dance...

In Christ's love and mine,

Bri

Faith Like a River: Complacency

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“You could not step twice in the same river; for waters are ever flowing onto you." -Heraclitus of Ephesus
"Faith without action is dead." - James 2:14
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 I find great irony in the fact that we reside in a society that is never satisfied, and yet one of the most profound stumbling blocks for Christians is complacency. How can a people that are starving for more of everything reach a point of fullness in their faith? Nearly all of us reach a point in our walk with the Lord (often more than once) in which we feel no need to push our faith onward. We simply find a good spot, survey our surroundings, and become content to stop, set up camp, and stay awhile. We feel good about the position that we are in with our faith and we desire only to sit and enjoy it.
The problem lies is the fact that faith, like a river, should be ever moving and changing. Our faith moves whether we want it to or not, and it only moves in 2 directions, forward or back. A river is unique to other earthly bodies of water in that it is constantly moving and is never the same twice. The same portion of water never moves over an area more than once, the flow of the current is ever shifting sand, and smoothing rocks. Our faith should resemble a river. We should be persistent in pushing our faith to higher measures at all times, always changing and evolving into a closer image of Christ. We should never be content to remain stagnant in our faith. It is impossible for a person to stand in the same river more than once, and it is just as impossible for a person to reach the same place in faith more than once. If we are not progressing in our faith then we are falling. We may encounter similar situations in our walk, but none are identical in their effect. James tells us that if our faith is not active...going and doing, then it is dead. For faith to be living it must be consistently and constantly developing. May my faith be like a river...
In Christ's Love and My Own,
Brianne