Nearly all of us can remember back to a scene from the movie Bambi. Thumper has just stuck that big foot of his in his mouth, & his mother quickly admonishes him. He bashfully recites a saying that evidently he has heard quite often..."If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all." While most of us could easily quote that line, I dare say very few of us implement it's wisdom...myself included. We live in a society that is crude & crass. Social media has given us a freedom to say whatever we think whenever we think it. Our opinions are brashly brandied about (whether they were asked for or not). Words flow from our lips without one iota of thought for how they might impact the one receiving them. Once upon a time most folks had been thoroughly taught proper etiquette & were well aware of certain topics that ought not be mentioned..but clearly those are by-gone days.
If I'm truthful this post has been sitting heavily in my gut for several years now. The Lone Ranger & I have 3 precious daughters, our gaggle, all of whom are very close in age. Currently Goldilocks is 5, Sweet 'N Sassy is 4, & Belles 'N Whistles is 2. From the time Belles was born, nearly every trip...I'm not exaggerating...EVERY trip to the grocery store brought with it crude comments or questions. "Are they ALL yours?!", "They're each so different...do they have the same father?", "They're so close in age...did you plan that?!, "Trying for that boy, are ya?!". It's a rarity that we venture out in public without one or another of these types of questions. Initially I answered back as politely as I could, but as our girls have grown these questions now cause the questions of their own. Mild annoyance has grown into intense frustration as I have to reassure my sweet girls that we wanted each one of them, that it's a wonderful thing for them to be so uniquely different,that we'd be thrilled with a dozen daughters, that we love our big & still growing family...
I'm currently 24 weeks pregnant with our 4th child, & the remarks just keep coming. Upon announcing our pregnancy along with congratulations came comments about the number of children we plan to have, & whether or not this was simply an attempt to have a son...joy was shadowed by hurt. As we near the third trimester of this pregnancy, I've long since left the 'cute' stage & ventured into mammoth territory. At 4'10" tall & with a baby measuring on the big side, I'm not the cute pregnant lady with a teeny bump. Comments veiled in humor, raised eyebrows, & inquiries as to how much longer until my due date are quite honestly hurtful (I'm aware that they are not intended to be). My tight fitting clothes, my aching back, & the stretch mark atlas on my belly make very clear just how large I am...and they daily remind me of how much I've yet to grow...
Social media has let family, friends, & foes have an in depth look at our once private lives...thereby leaving us vulnerable to their input. Facebook is a free-for-all of opinions on every topic from sex to finances, from politics to religion. The sharing of a perspective leads to a discussion which becomes an argument & sometimes even an attack. Behind the realitive safety of a computer monitor (or phone screen), we feel free to make our sentiments known...I myself am guilty of this...
I cannot help but feel like Thumper's momma was right...if we cannot say something nice, perhaps we are better off not saying anything at all. There are topics of conversation that should still socially be taboo. There are others that should be spoken of with a soft tongue & with much consideration. Even as I type this, I'm unsure if I will follow through with hitting the publish button. I fear that you will read it & think I am simply lashing out from hurt feelings...& while perhaps they are a bit raw, the true nature of this post is to encourage us to be aware of the power of our tongues. Words once spoke are impossible to recapture. Scripture tells us that our tongue has the power of life & death (Proverbs 18:21). Many, many times words that are spoken with no harmful intent strike a hidden nerve & reopen old wounds. We must be mindful of this. We have no way of knowing what issues might be tender ones for the listener, & so we must exercise caution. We must think before we speak. We must consider ramifications before we hit 'post'. We must guard against letting our debates become attacks.
Please do not respond to this post with comment about how awesome my ginormous baby bump is...I did not write this to have comments transformed into compliments. I wrote this post because the tongue has the power lift others up or to tear them down. Words truly have the power to give life or to snuff it out. We live in a world in which daily we commit murder simply by the words that issue from our mouths...We live in a culture in which we die countless deaths caused by the words of others.
'Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.' (Ephesians 4:29)
(As a simple side note, I do want to mention that we as believers have a responsibility to always speak truth (according to God's word) even when the world does not wish to hear it)
