There's No Place Like Home: August 2012

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Rugged Maniac: Making Your Way Out of the Pit

So there's this obstacle course/race that was created by the Navy Seals as part of their training, & it's called the Rugged Maniac. It's a 5k filled to the brim with wall climbing, fire jumping, tunnel crawling, balance beam walking, creek wading, muddy water swimming, running up & down ski slopes...well you get the picture...

On Saturday I found out firsthand that this race is very adequately named! It's intense! My dad is a hardcore, slightly crazy kinda guy. At 49 years old he recently participated in a race called the "Tough Mudder" (also adequately named) & performed so well that they asked him to do the World's Toughest Mudder. Considering the prior raced ended with a 10,000 volt jolt of electricity as he crossed the finish line, he decided to decline. All that being said at age 26, I felt a certain desire to prove to him that I was just as hardcore (or almost) as he was and so I set out to complete the Rugged Maniac. Lemme tell ya, as a mom of a 4 month old I was in no way in shape enough or prepared for what was to come!

(Before the Race, smiling not knowing what I was in for)

Right off of the start line we set off running (more like stumbling) straight down a ski slope & then proceed to run straight back up the slope (seemed a lot like a mountain to me) before ever coming to the first obstacle. Then in what seemed like a never-ending blur I climbed walls, swam through muddy water, crawled under barbed wire through a mud pit, slid down a water slide, jumped into a cargo net (only to have to climb right back out) & in between all of this was the never ending run up & down mini-mountains...insane. The hills were so steep that at some points I was pulling on grass just to keep moving upwards & going down...well that was just a matter of trying not to roll down. (Oh How I wish I had a picture of the slopes!) There were moments during my run (okay mostly a fast-paced walk) up those hills that I seriously considered yelling "Medic" & getting myself a golf-cart ride out of there! I didn't give in, but it sure was a tempting thought. I attempted to just pray my way through it, thanking God for the beautiful landscape that He'd so artfully created...but more often then not wound up grumbling about the Paoli Peaks designers who thought it'd be a good idea to exaggerate the existing inclines.

Believe it or not I actually rejoiced when an obstacle came into view because that meant I'd successfully made it to the bottom or top of a slope. Needless to say each challenge wrought another sense of frustration quickly followed up by pride when I'd completed it. I was pretty sure I was about to the finish line...when I hit the 1 mile marker. I'm not going to lie, I almost cried when I realized I had 2.1 miles left to go. As always God uses my everyday (& not so everyday) experiences to speak to my heart so the point of this post is probably pretty obvious. After I finally realized that grumbling about the slopes wasn't going to get me up (or down) them any faster I kind of got swept up in the deeper meaning of what I was doing. It dawned on me that every person does just what I was doing (perhaps not literally). Every hour, every day, every week, every month, of every year we overcome trials & tribulations. We're met head on by obstacles & have to fight to conquer them. We struggle to make our way uphill in the slopes of life only to find ourselves rolling back down again. Life is hard. A world mired in sin is a rugged (pun intended) place for a believer to dwell in. We're forever struggling to climb out of the pit, & truly know it is only by His grace that we can do so.

(My Daddy grinning at me as I crawl through muddy water under barbed wire)

Just as there were times that I was tempted to give in a bow out of the race, we are faced with hardships that greatly tempt us to quit. Some give in to that, others endure. Every person is confronted with difficulties that rock them to their core...these are make or break moments. As believers we would call them Kairos moments (God-appointed, life changing experiences), moments that deepen our faith or destroy it. In the midst of those times it's so very hard to see the plan that God has...to see the purpose beyond the haze of heartache & hurt, but we must hold true to our faith & know that there IS a purpose...there IS a plan. That, dear ones, that knowledge of His sovereignty, is the force that keeps us moving forwards. It is the motivation that pushes us up & over obstacles. It is the reason we do not call it quits. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future." We endure because His agenda is for our good. Romans 8:28 "And we know God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God & are called according to His purpose for them." We persevere because He promises that He does not give us more than we can handle. He promises that someone else has been in our shoes & has made it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 "The temptations in your life are no different than what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow you to be tempted more than what you can stand. When you are tempted He will show you a way out so that you can endure. He promises us great reward when we cross the finish line...eternity by His side.

Sisters & Brothers, if we are honest with ourselves we would admit that quite often the hardships & difficulties in our lives stem from poor choices & are results of our selfishness. Most (not all) of the times in which we feel despair & are mired down are rooted in times when we pursued Our Purposes rather than His. So often we lament, whine, & grumble about the troubles we face, shaking our fists at God, when in reality we can blame no one but ourselves. No one forced me to run that race. There was no cattle prod behind me making me run those slopes & climb those obstacles...it was my choice. As I mentioned before, my dad is pretty hardcore so needless to say he finished the race way before I did, but to he turned around & came back to find me. He met me along the path, helped me complete the obstacles, & ran into the Finish line right beside me. I didn't endure that race alone, & neither do you face life's challenges alone. Here's the kicker, our Father meets us in the mess of our making & walks us through it. He gives us a boost, words of encouragement, & races with us to the Finish.

(That's my daddy boosting me up the wall & then peaking over to be sure I'd made it down okay)

I know that many of you are in your lowest of lows, mired down in the pit. I know that others are experiencing the highs of life. I pray that you will endure! Despite my weak moments, despite times of thinking I was going to die or puke (whichever came first), I made it across the Finish line...but I know that I couldn't have done it without my Daddy. You don't have to go through your hardships alone, & to be honest you can't make it without your Father either. Believers who are struggling, I urge you, Cowboy Up & Hold onto Him. Those who are lost, your Father is waiting, hand held out, ready to pull you up out of the Pit.

May You Persevere & May You Overcome! Be Blessed

All of this reminded me of my Grammie's favorite poem so I wanted to share that with you as well:

http://llerrah.com/footprints.htm

*Scripture*

1 Corinthians 9:24-27 "Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! ²⁵All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. ²⁶So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. ²⁷I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified."

Galatians 6:9 "So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up."

Hebrews 10:36 "Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised."

Romans 5:3-5 "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. ⁴And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. ⁵And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."

James 1:2-4 "Dear brothers and sisters,^[a] when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. ³For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. ⁴So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing."

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Proverbs 31:27

"She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,

and keeps them all busy and productive."

Quality:
Supervisor: Responsible for & Oversees the completion of tasks
Developer of the Future Generation: "Trains a child up in the way
he/she should go.

Breakdown:
The Proverbs 31 Woman (P31W) is the heart of her home, & she is also 2nd in command. Picture it this way: On a ship there is a captain who is the commander of the ship. He is followed up by a First-Mate who supervises the operations of the ship & oversees the crew members. Your husband is the captain of the ship (head of the home), you are the first mate (responsible for it's maintenance & operation), & your children are the crew members (future captains & first-mates in training). The P31W is aware that "many hands make light work." She delegates responsibilities (chores,if you will) to the members of her household & oversees their completion. The delegation of tasks & responsibilities is key to the smooth running of the household for many reasons:
1. Gives each member of the family a sense of worth.
2. Spreads evenly the burden of running the home.
3. Teaches children to have a servant's heart.
4. Trains & prepares the children to one day be the captains & first-mates (husbands/fathers & wives/mothers).
5. Teaches children submission & the natural hierarchy, thereby helping them to grasp the concept of submission to the Lord.
6. Assures that children understand things are earned.
The P31W knows that the purpose of a well-run home is not merely to create a relaxing refuge for her family, but more importantly to teach her children responsibility & appreciation of hard work. She knows that children do not miraculously one day just become contributing, responsible, moral adults...that they must be "trained up" towards that goal. The P31W assigns each household member tasks (age appropriate ones of course), teaches them how to complete the task properly, & then assures that it is done to that standard. She praises them for the work that they do, corrects them when it is done in haste or incorrectly, & increases the importance/difficulty of their tasks as they grow & mature. The P31W does not tolerate laziness. She understands that this fosters a sense of entitlement & encourages the child to learn to take advantage of others. She conveys to her children the importance of making the most of the precious time God has given...be it the completion of tasks or the passing on of His love. The P31W knows that learning to walk through life, to handle it's necessary tasks well, with responsibility & a sense of pride, teaches her children profound life skills & concepts.

Application:
We live in a time in which children have been made the center of life. Everything hovers around what they need & want...this is a sinful, vicious cycle that must stop! Children are not/should not be the center of the universe, Christ is! Essentially we have made children God...we have set them up as idols to worship & please. Perhaps out of pure intentions, we have unwittingly robbed children of a chance to truly understand the Lord. They have no understanding or respect for authority (hence the importance of submission). They feel entitled to have whatever they want whenever they want it with little or no effort on their part to earn it. What seems so trivial has in fact uprooted the foundation of faith. Children who are selfish, unmotivated, & incapable cannot operate as part of the Body of Christ. The understanding of Proverbs 31:27 is critical & vital to restoring the future generation to true righteous faith.
As a godly women it is our duty, our calling to prepare our children to be holy, righteous contributors to the Kingdom...if we fail to do so we are sinning. We must set aside the need to be "liked" by our children & understand that what they truly need sometimes is "tough love". We do our children no favors when we require & expect nothing of them, when we hand them anything they ask for, when we bow down & cave in to their demands. I daresay that we will one day be held accountable for those very actions.
Begin by instituting a chore chart for your child. Assign age appropriate tasks for them to complete on a daily basis. *A child is capable of "helping" around age 1-18 mo. Our daughter has her own chore chart at age 3* Teach them how to complete these tasks & to do it well. Do not settle when your child does less than he/she is capable of. As a child grows & becomes more mature increase the number & difficulty level of tasks. I encourage you to not allow this to become all about receiving rewards but to foster the development of a servant's heart. Teach your child to delight in helping others, in blessings others...that should be the ultimate reward.If you choose to go the route of a monetary reward, take that chance to teach the importance of tithing & saving. Fiscal Responsibility! Say the allowance is $1.00 a week. Set up 3 jars & label them (Tithe, Save, Spend). Have your child put a dime in the tithe jar, a dime in the save jar, & .80 in the spend jar. This is a prime opportunity to show them how much it requires to be able to buy something. Be forthright with your children. Explain to them that this is about more than having a clean house, but that it is about the building of character & the preparation to one day be mommies & daddies themselves. A child is capable of grasping a deeper meaning, & will even be more motivated to follow through.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Tell Me 'Bout the Good Ole Days: The Danger of Nostalgia

"Mommy, tell me a story about when you were a little girl," this familiar refrain is repeated by my 3 year old daughter nearly every time we get into the car. For the duration of our travels I am prodded to tell stories of my childhood, & I have noticed that my stories & memories are somewhat altered from the way that they truly occurred. Incidents that incited fear, anger, or hurt feelings at the time of the event now are told with humor & excitement. The dust of time has settled upon my memories & transformed them into something different than they once were. Recollections flow from my lips with a lack of accuracy as my imagination has begun to embellish or alter the details of my life experiences. As I share with my daughter bits & pieces of my past, I become aware that the stories I tell her are truly more fictitious than realistic. This awareness has caused me to ponder the inner workings of memories & the haze that time puts upon them. My subconscious, my day dreams & night dreams, my hidden thoughts, & my unmentioned longings of the heart, have been impacted, prodded & encouraged, by this rose-glazed reminiscence.

We have a quite natural tendency to enjoy recalling days gone by, but I fear that we endanger ourselves when we allow our minds to taint the accuracy of those times. We remember the "good ole days" when in actuality some of those times should be termed "bad ole days." As we get chronologically farther & farther away from certain relationships & events of our past, we have a tendency to elevate them in our subconscious. Bad experiences & unhealthy relationships that harmed & scarred us at the time of their happening are sometimes remembered years later with great fondness & recollection of only the good. In & of itself this ability to alter our memories is not necessarily a bad thing, but for many of us this becomes an avenue by which we live in and long for the past rather than embracing our present.

I daresay that the mistress or paramour in many a marriage is the memory of a past lover. I venture to guess that quite often the discontent with one's current life situation or style is the inaccurate remembering of life in the past. Let's get down to the nitty gritty. For very many of us our spouse is not the first man (or woman) that we have loved (either emotionally or physically). It is quite common to have been deeply invested in another, nearly being & even actually being "one" with someone prior. These past relationships ended for whatever reason, & at the time of the ending we are well aware of what those reasons are, but down the road months, years, or decades later those reasons are often forgotten. We begin to soften the harsh realities of those relationships & instead begin to glorify the positive aspects. For example perhaps in a relationship a man was verbally abusive & degrading but after those episodes was the picture of romance. The relationship ends due to his abuse, but perhaps years down the road the woman begins building up the relationship in her mind. She diminishes her recollections of his abuse & exalts the romance that he displayed. She forgets the names he called her & the ways in which he belittled her, but remembers each rose he bought & every love letter he wrote. She begins to long for that kind of romance, to be resentful that her spouse is not as sensitive as Mr. Past. She begins to compare the two men in her mind & proceeds to be more & more discontent with Mr. Present as her jaded memories of Mr. Past become more & more appealing. She never speaks of this hidden war that wages in her subconscious but subtly her attitude towards her spouse begins to change. She becomes aloof, cold, & distant without even realizing it. She begins to nag & nit-pick Mr. Present. She fumes inside about the fact that he can't read her mind & know exactly what she wants. Her thoughts & day dreams transition from her husband to Mr. Past, & before long he is the man she wants. An emotional love affair has begun. Quite often that is where the affair stops, psychological & emotional adultery, but sometimes it goes further. The woman bumps into or reconnects with Mr. Past, & she allows her imaginings to become actuality. **Beware of the dangers that social media (texting, Facebook, & email) present. They make this re connection very easy & tempting**

I believe that many of us look upon our birthdays with impending doom. We dread & fear our Winter years. We waste them away by longing for & trying to regain our youth. We alter our image, our personality, & our morality to be what we once were (or even what we wished we once were). We become vain & needy for attention & affirmation...as if that will prove that we are still young & beautiful. We compromise our integrity & our maturity in favor of once again being the naive, giddy, silly school girl. Here's another example: Perhaps a woman recalls her teenage or young adult years, & in her recollections she fondly remembers any number of things. She sees old pictures & longs for the physique she possessed as a young girl. She goes to her class reunion & is reminded of how much fun she had. She sees young girls & is jealous of the attention they receive. She begins attempting to retrieve those "glory days". Surgery allows her to bring things back north that sagged south, to smooth lines, & plump up what's gone limp. Her attire no longer resembles what a woman her age out to wear, but looks like she raids her daughter's closet. Her friends are no longer her peers but are now the generation below her. She laments & mourns each birthday & lies about her age.

The posts that I write always stem from a personal conviction, & a sense of needing to bring out the struggles that we are afraid to admit we face. I do not believe that I can truly impact you unless I am utterly transparent, so with that being said here is something about this topic that I struggle with. A Personal Example: I am a mother of 3 beautiful little girls. In my nearly 5 years of marriage I have been pregnant more often than not...needless to say I do not now possess the body I had as a bride. I have been struggling with losing baby weight, with seeing sagging skin and (well that goes without saying). This body image has become a monster in my mind. I see pictures of my former self & long to look like that. I alternate between dieting & exercising in an attempt to regain that physique to binge eating because the quest feels hopeless. I feel undesirable to my husband & often misconstrue his words or actions as a sign of disinterest. I think of how I used to look, act, & dress, & now see my self as a flabby, drabby, prude. My mind has built up my recollection of my pre-baby self to the point that I often despise my current self.

Do any of these examples hit close to home? It is not my wish to bring condemnation or to step on toes, but to bring darkness to light. I share with you my own personal example so that you might see I am speaking to you out of my own conviction & desire to save you heartache. I truly fear that the embellishing of the past is a great obstacle we face. We cannot be content in our present & anxious for our future when we long for the past. We cannot be invested in our spouse, devoted to our marriage when we desire our altered version of Mr. Past. We cannot count our blessings if we feel that we have in some way been robbed of what was once rightfully ours. We cannot be fulfilled, righteous, Proverbs 31 Women when we despise our age & long to return to our former selves. Nostalgia does not have to be a bad thing, but it can be quite dangerous when it is not accurate. We do ourselves no favors when we allow our minds to transform past relationships & experiences into something more than what they were. I am not referring to laughing at oneself or finding humor in memories of bad choices & experiences. Hindsight is 20/20 & we should be able to put those things in clear perspective. I am not insinuating that we hold on to bitterness & hurt or that we should not forgive & forget. We should. The problem comes when we allow ourselves to fall prey to temptation & sin by allowing our minds to enhance, alter, or embellish the past thereby causing discontent with the present & dread of the future. Skewed recollections & embellished memories about our past have the lethal potential to make us ungrateful for & unrealistic about our present. Polluted nostalgia can & does destroy the potential we have for making an impact in God's Kingdom. Do not underestimate yourselves! God has given us power over our minds! We can control, restrict, & prohibit this alteration of reality.

2 Corinthians 10:5 "We also capture every thought and make it give up & obey Christ."

We cannot be Who God Wants Us to Be, Who He has Planned for Us to Become if we have our eyes set on Who We Once Were...

Friday, August 24, 2012

Til Death Do Us Part...

Just this past weekend my family & I headed up to Bedford, Indiana for the Rainey Reunion. Driving along that long curvy, hilly, rugged (nauseating) road brought a flood of childhood memories to mind. I'll never forget the countless times my parents would load us all up in our Chevy Astro van to make a trip to visit Grandma & Granddad. As we made our way North, the landscape changed & to my childlike mind the jagged limestone formations appeared to be mountains. The winding road became more & more remote as we ventured out to my great-grandparents farm, & upon finally reaching our destination we would pile out of the van ready for adventure. Grandma would open the door with her faithful "Howdy-Do" & usher us in. Granddad would grin & cackle, embracing each of us as we came into their home. Always following our entrance was Granddad's predictable, "Ruth Esther, whatcha got in the kitchen" & off we'd go to find Fig Newtons & apple cider. I loved these visits to my great-grandparents house...they were full of adventures: trekking our way to the creek & waterfalls on their property, walking the fence line like a balance beam, discovering antiques & precious relics in the basement,swinging on the porch swing & eating cantaloupe. Even greater than all of this was to sit beside my granddad & listen as he began to tell stories of days gone by. I loved to listen to his memories of how he met my grandma & of his service during the war (WWII). He told of how the family made their way down from Canada in a covered wagon, all the way to Kentucky until some terrible weather sent them back up to Indiana. Granddad told of how the Lord's protection was always upon his life, & of how he loved "Ruth Esther" from the first moment he saw her. Grandma would sit in her rocker & smile, sometimes chuckling, & other times uttering "Oh, Virgil!" These moments are ingrained upon my memory.

As I neared my teenage years I became more & more fascinated with Granddad's stories & with the evident love that he & Grandma still shared. During our visits I began to notice that my sweet Grandma often seemed confused, forgetful, & struggled to remember what she had always so easily recalled. Her Alzheimer's disease had already taken great hold of her by the time I realized how very ill she was. I'll never forget one visit in which Granddad quietly told my parents of several scary incidents in which the stove was left of or of Grandma wondering outside. Tears fell from his eyes as he told them that the children felt it best that she go to a nursing home. My dad asked Granddad what he would do, & his reply was instant, "Where she goes, I go." Even then as a teenage girl, I choked up. Granddad was in good health, minus some knee trouble. He puttered around his farm, adored his corgi dog, & loved being home. He told my dad, "When I married Ruth Esther I promised her that nothing would part us but death, I'll keep that promise to her." It wasn't long after that that our visits to Grandma & Granddad transitioned from scenic farm to nursing home. Before my eyes Granddad's health began to deteriorate as his lack of independence robbed him of his mobility. He & Grandma had to be in separate units of the nursing home. Grandma in the unit that specialized in her condition, Granddad on the regular floor. Daily he would get to visit Grandma for a bit, & when we came we always took him over to see her...to make our visits as normal as possible. Without her by his side, he seemed incapable of joy or even motivation, but of how his eyes lit up as we wheeled him over to her! To this day tears come to my eyes as I remember how it broke my Granddad's heart to have the love of his life forget him. He would sit & pat her hand & talk to her as she eyed him with veiled suspicion. Not unlike the movie "The Notebook" there were times when Granddad presence & ours caused Grandma to get anxious & riled. We would take him back to his room, visibly shaken & upset. There were several occasions in which family members, out of love & concern, would encourage Granddad to return to his beloved home, to remind him that Grandma didn't remember & that he would be healthier & happier there, but always his answer was the same. "I promised Ruth Esther, til death do us part. Where she goes, I go."

The last time I saw my Granddad, he sang a song to me. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..." His voice was weak, but his grip was strong as he told me he loved me & that he was proud of me. He met my then future-husband for the first & only time. He told me to tell Grandma he loved her & I blew him a kiss as we walked out the door. It was not long after that I received the news that Granddad had passed away. Several years later Grandma followed. I can still hear their familiar reference to one another's names...oh how they loved one another! Grandma's chastising, "Virgil!" & Granddad's husky, "Ruth Esther" gave me no doubt that they were one, one flesh, one heart, & one mind, united for all their days. I longed to have my husband say my name in the love-filled way that Granddad said Grandma's. I prayed that my marriage would look like theirs 50 years from now.

"Til Death Do Us Part", it is a vow that once meant so much...that was upheld & honored at all costs. Today marriages are ended all the time, & often many remain intact in name only. I'm not content with that...I want more. I want the eternal, fairy-tale love of my great grandparents. I want to know that when I take my last breath, it was done still loving my precious husband. I want to say his name with the familiarity that comes with 50+ years spent as one. When we married nearly 5 years ago, I took my granddad's promise to heart, & in my vows I told my husband, "May the Lord hold me accountable if anything but death should separate us." With all of my heart I still mean that today. For the rest of my days I will fight for, endeavor towards, & rejoice in the covenant we have made to one another. When I am old & gray, when my hands are gnarled & withered, when my voice is shaky, my heart will still beat for him...my eyes will still light up as he comes into a room, & my arms will still ache to hold him. Through the hills & valleys of our marriage I will bear in mind the legacy of love my great-grandparents passed down & I will be certain to leave behind that same tradition. "Til Death Do Us Part"...

Monday, August 20, 2012

Proverbs 31:25-26

"She is clothed with strength and dignity,

and she laughs without fear of the future."

(New Living Translation)

"When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,

and she always says it kindly."

(Message Version)

Qualities:
  Strong: Not mild or weak, but rich in some active agent (Faith!)
  Dignified: State of being worthy of honor or esteem
  Peaceful: Not anxious, but has faith in the God's provision &
sovereignty
Not a Chatterbox: Knows the power & peril of words
Kind in Conflict: Handles confrontation with grace & kindness

Breakdown:
I felt that both versions of this verse were worth discussing & indeed different in their interpretations. For ease of understanding, we'll break it down one version at a time.

New Living Translation (Vs. 25):
The Proverbs 31 Woman is described as "Being clothed in strength & dignity". These character qualities are so visible upon her that they are likened to the way clothing decorates & drapes upon the body. She is strong. The definition I found described strength as being "rich in some agent"...we know this to be her faith. Our culture puts much emphasis on independence & self-confidence, but strength should not derive from who or what we are but from Who & What He is. We should be strong because we know our identity lies in being a daughter of the Most High God...great security rises from that. The P31W is also dignified, she is worthy of respect, honor, & esteem. This is profound! Every trait we have discussed from this passage combines together to make the P31W dignified...deserving of respect. To possess dignity is to have made it to P31W status! The Proverbs 31 Woman has faith & trust in the Father's provision & sovereignty...she does not sit & bite her nails as she worries over things. She does not pace & make herself sick with anxiety...she knows that her Father has everything under control. When troubles come her way she can leave them at the feet of the Lord, & go forth with Joy, knowing He will handle it. This verse is a caution to not be anxious...a plague which grips many women.

Message Version (Vs. 26):
The Proverbs 31 Woman (P31W) is aware of the power of words. She knows that words can kill & that words can bring life, so she chooses her words wisely. The P31W doesn't jabber on and one with no point to her words. She doesn't delight in just hearing herself speak...She truly considers what she has to say, weighs its importance & impact before she speaks. Women are often weak when guarding their tongues. They are often malicious & hurtful with the things that pass from their lips...a godly woman strives to keep control of her tongue & of the words that leave her mouth...ever mindful that they either build up or tear down. If the P31W feels impressed upon to hold someone accountable, to show an error, or to convict...she does so kindly, lovingly...with an intent & a heart for reconciliation. She does not step on the toes of someone for the sake of hurting or to uplift herself, but to be a beacon of grace to them. The P31W knows not to speak out in the heat of the moment, not to let her emotions control her tongue...she handles confrontation with graces & kindness. It's important to note that a scripture says "Be still & know that I am God."...it's very hard to hear the Lord when we do not close out mouths long enough to listen.

(Further verses about the power of the tongue & words)
Proverbs 25: 23
"As surely as a north wind brings rain, so a gossiping tongue causes anger!"
Proverbs 26:28
"A lying tongue hates its victims, and flattering words cause ruin"
Proverbs 15:4
"Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit."
Proverbs 21:23
"Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble."
Proverbs 13:3
"Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything."
Proverbs 18:21
"The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences."

I found a link which made an acronym out of the word "Think" so that we will think before we speak...I thought it was worthy of sharing with you.
T: Is it true?
H: Is it helpful?
I: Is it inspiring?
N: Is it Necessary?
K: Is it Kind?

Application:
Be strong, not in self-confidence but in God-confidence. We are nearing the end of the descriptions of the godly woman, analyze yourself & determine if you are dignified (worthy of respect, esteem)...if so rejoice! God has faithfully led you on the journey to being a Proverbs 31, godly Woman! If not then start at the beginning. Go back to verse 10 & re-examine & apply the character qualities...become dignified!

Be mindful & cautious of your words. The Bible makes clear that words are powerful, filled with the ability to tear down or to build up. Even in conflict strive to use your words in a loving, & uplifting manner. Apply the THINK acronym. I am going to begin teaching this to my daughters as young girls so that as young women they might be wise in this area.

What Men Want...

I've been thinking that it might be beneficial to young women to know (from a man's point of view) what a man (a godly man) wants in a prospective wife. I could tell you all day long certain traits & characteristics that a godly woman should possess, but it doesn't do much good if you do not realize that those are the qualities good men look for...so all that being said, I took a small survey so that I could accurately let you know what men want. I asked some Proverbs 31 Women to have their husbands let me know what it was that drew them to their wives so here are their responses...

We'll start with my husband :-)

John said of me: You were pretty. You weren't dramatic. We shared the same values, goals, & perspectives...even on the little things. I thought you'd be a good mom & I could picture life with you.

Jeff said of his wife Courtney: You listened to me. We handled what mattered most in the same way. You made me want to be a better person.

Clint said of his wife Vanessa: You had a big heart.

Adam said of his wife Holly: I could always tell you would be a good wife & a mom. Had a big heart & genuinely cared for other Respected yourself & others. No foul mouth, cussing, or gossip. Presented self in a respectful manner (didn't dress skimpy) & ladylike way. Could tell by your interaction with people that you weren't judging or putting people down. And a really important part: you were content being single, independent, & wasn't rushing around to find someone.

Jordan said of his wife Tearee: Your morals & values matched with mine.

Seth said of his wife Lauren: You knew the Bible better than me.

Zach said of his wife Rachael: I love that you can be independent & do it on your own, but that you want me to lead you & protect you. You do the right thing, even when it's not the easy thing. I knew your compassion before I knew your heart.

Dusty said of his wife Jessie: Your morals, values, & that you were a Christian.

Aaron said of his wife Stephanie: The way you treated your dad with love & respect, your heart for worshipping, you could cook, the way you were with kids, the notes you wrote me, the way you listened to me as if I mattered, the times we read & prayed together, your beauty, you didn't judge me when I made mistakes, but you motivated me to change for the better, and the list goes on and on...

Jonathan said of his wife Amanda: Your looks got my attention, but your heart, who you were, kept me around.

So there you have it ladies, whether wordy or short & to the point, godly men want a godly woman. These are their words, not mine. Appearance may have an initial impact, but it's the heart, the character, & the integrity of who you are that will make a man truly love you...

Thursday, August 16, 2012

E.P.T.

I never cease to be amazed at the ways in which Satan infiltrates our lives & skews our thinking. A few minutes ago there was a commercial on the television for E.P.T Pregnancy Tests. It's new ad campaign is that the acronym E.P.T. stands for "Erase Panic Today"...I am usually oblivious to this kind of propaganda, but today the impact of that message hit me full force. Have we truly reached the point in our culture where the prospect of expecting a child instills panic in the would be/might be future parent? I know that while this commercial caught me off guard & surprised me, the sad truth is that for many the thought of having conceived a child is one of fear and not joy...that breaks my heart.

I suppose a reason this hit me wrong is that I am often questioned about my children. My husband and I have 3 beautiful daughters, the oldest is 3 & the youngest is 3 months. (Yes it is mathematically possible.) We had been married 1 year & 1 week when we discovered Abigail was on the way. She was the answer to my heart's desire & by the time she could sit up my heart was yearning for another little one. The week Abigail began to crawl (8 mo. old) we found out that our 2nd child was on the way. Little Jordyn arrived & added great love to our family. Abigail was 16 months old. Just as before my heart very quickly desired another child. On Jordyn's first birthday we announced that #3 was coming! Isabella Hope arrived just this past May. Each daughter was planned, desired, & dearly wanted. My husband & I intended & prayed for the conception of each. I am ever asked "were any of them a "surprise" & my response is emphatically this, "Each of my girls was a desired blessing, a gift." I felt immense joy at the knowledge that each was growing within me. As of today I have no idea whether the Lord will move our hearts to have another little one, but I do know that when I feel that urge, if I do, timing will not matter. I am blessed to have a godly husband, to be part of a righteous covenant with him, & any children that come from our union will always be considered the utmost of blessings. I am often told that I am crazy for having my girls in the time span in which I did, & I guess that's true...I am crazy in love with my Prince of a husband & with my 3 beautiful Princesses.

Which of these 3 precious, priceless faces could I ever look at & think "hmm, could have done without you?" Ludicrousness! I myself was a bit of a surprise to my parent's & not once, not one single time have I ever felt like a mistake. The grave mistake our culture is endanger of making is to view fragile, innocent human life as an inconvenience & a problem to get rid of. Whether born out of wedlock or just conceived unexpectedly, the creation of life is a supreme blessing. I will not sit by, watch a commercial like that, & allow myself to think that is okay...it's just not. If we need an ad to say "Erase Panic Today" then that's a good indicator that if people aren't ready to be parents, then they aren't ready to have sex...just saying.

Psalm 127:3 "Children are a gift from the Lord.

They are a reward from Him"

Amen.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Cinderella: Family Movie Night

Cinderella

Talking Points:

-Cinderella exemplifies the fruits of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, & Self-Control (Galatians 5:21-23 ) Have your children clap, touch their nose, or any given gesture when they see Cinderella act out a fruit of the Spirit during the movie.

-We can point out to our children that although Cinderella's life was not easy, that even though things went wrong, she maintained her goodness & her pure heart. (Luke 9:25) (John 15:19) (Romans 12:2)

-She continued to honor her stepmother even though she was treated like a slave. (Exodus 20:12)

-It is a chance to convey to our children the real world lesson that life is not always fair & that people are not always nice, but that we have the choice of how we respond to that. We can return and eye for an eye & act ugly like they do, or we can show them goodness & love (like Jesus would). (Matthew 5:39) (Luke 6:29)

-It is worthwhile to point out that Cinderella is beautiful ( a reflection of her heart) & that the Stepmothers are harsh & unappealing in appearance (likewise a reflection of the heart). (1 Peter3:3-4)

-You reap what you sow: Cinderella is kind & good, her life reaps good fruit. The Stepmother & sisters are bitter, vain, & selfish and as such they are unhappy, unsatisfied, & etc. (Matthew 7:17-18)

-Show your children that the Stepmother's character & integrity taught her daughters to have poor character & integrity. Ask them what they think Cinderella's children will be like?

*It's important to note that the overriding theme of nearly all children's movies is Good vs. Evil & that Good (almost always) overcomes Evil. This is an awesome theme to point out to our tots because that is the overriding theme of this life we live. Satan constantly battles the Lord, but we know that in the end God wins...believers are assured a Happily Ever After, eh? To me that is why it would be a travesty to let our children be robbed of fairy tales...the message they tell is true & transcends fiction into the reality of the spiritual life we live!

*Please feel free to add themes of character or qualities that come to your mind (leave a comment & I'll add them to the list). I am certain that I left out quite a few (this is what I could think of right off the bat) so I'd love to beef this up more! :-)

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Family Movie Night Links

Punishing Princesses

What little girl doesn't love all things fairy tale? Princesses, Castles, Villains, Handsome Princes...ahhh the day dreams those words evoke! Every little girl imagines being a princess, every boy of being a hero...these are good aspirations for little minds (in my opinion). I have read books by Christian authors & heard messages about the dangers of letting our children feast upon these ideas...claims that wanting to be a princess creates a "diva" mentality. I can understand & even agree with some of the claims made, but I have to say that as a whole I am of a different opinion. Hear my heart on this, I am not saying that every subliminal message in fairy tale movies is a positive one, but I am saying that we can impact the message our children interpret from them. One can argue that princesses are merely women who flaunt their beauty & simply sink in the mire of their problems expecting a man to come & rescue them or we can say that their inner beauty makes them outwardly beautiful & that strong, upright men come along their paths to walk through life with them...it's all about perception. If we tell our daughters that the princesses are weak, whiny, vain women then that is how they will perceive them, but if we point out their Christ-like qualities then that is what they will take away from the movies & stories.

I believe that there is a reason that our daughters & sons are drawn to this romanticism, that it has less to do with being self-centered & everything to do with being created in the image of the King of Kings. I believe that God has placed these notions within innocent minds because innately they know that princesses, princes, knights, & super heroes display Christ-like qualities. The world can take this naivete & skew it, but we as godly parents have the authority, power, & opportunity to encourage this lively imagination within our children & to take this natural excitement for fairy tales to instruct our children in the ways of the Father.

Our house is a chaotic mess of dress up gowns, tiaras, high heels, & princess dolls. I have 3 daughters that I am striving to raise as godly little women, & part of my training has been a purposeful acknowledgement that they are daughters of the Most High God...thereby making them princesses. I am teaching them that with that honor comes great reward as well as responsibility. It is an opportunity to jump upon their naturally keen interest in fairy tale & to use it to guide them in a biblical way. We have a Bible that the girls & I read daily called "God's Little Princess Devotional Bible" (by Sheila Walsh) that is an amazing tool to use towards this goal.

I recently came upon a picture of Disney Princesses that had an antagonistic, derogatory comment for each Princess. I have to say that as a grown woman it discouraged that deep hidden place that is still a little girl within. Below is the link if you would like to see for yourselves what I am describing.
http://pinterest.com/pin/160511174188743878/
That same day I came across this link which was a testament to God's sovereignty over the topic I am speaking on. It is a breakdown of the movie "Tangled" & how to pull out key points of Godly instruction for your children before watching the movie. It's amazing!
http://ptskjohnson.blogspot.com/2011/04/tangled-family-home-evening.html
Focus on the Family has a website (I'll post that one as well) that allows you to type in a movie & it brings up ideas on how to convey the godly qualities within them. My husband & I are going to be doing this with the Disney Princess movies for our daughters as part of a Family Night routine.
http://www.pluggedin.com/familyroom/movienights.aspx

I have no desire to rob my daughters of the innocence of their childhood (which is too short as it is) by depriving them of a natural desire to be a princess. I refuse to let the world skew something that is an opportunity to guide young girls in the plans their Father has for them. I am openly saying that I think Satan is trying to rob our children of their carefree days & that this is an avenue by which he is successfully doing that. If your children love these things (knights, princes, super heroes, princesses, & fairy tales) then see that it is an avenue by which to truly help them comprehend the qualities of Christ...don't just take it away because you are afraid of a negative impact...intentionally create a positive one! I am going to post the movies the I find on the Plugged In website, along with their Movie Night breakdown. I'll also be looking at creating my own synopsis for those I cannot find. If there is a movie you'd like me to search for please let me know.

I hope that we will stop Punishing the Princesses for the world's skewed view on fairy tales & that we will instruct our children in their responsibilities as Righteous Royals!

Another Blog to Follow

Ladies,
I just wanted to let you know that I linked up to a wonderful blog by a true Proverbs 31 Woman! Read & enjoy!

http://www.theunlikelyhomeschool.com/2012/08/the-ultimate-guide-to-titus-2-mothering.html

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Good Ole Pentecostal Prayin'

I wanted to share with you all a powerful faith-changing moment that happened to me the other night. My second born daughter, Jordyn, has had a rough couple of weeks. She had tubes placed in her ears as well as had her tonsils removed. Recovery has been a rocky ride to say the least. This past weekend she finally seemed to be herself again. Her smile was radiant, she had a bounce in her step, & laughter spilling from her lips. John & I thought we had our little girl back, & truly we did...until late Sunday night. She went to bed & fell asleep peacefully but around 11:00 pm woke up in a hysterical panic. She kept telling me "Mama, head hurt!" We gave her medicine & did our best to comfort her but all to no avail.

To see your child in pain & to be able to do nothing about it is heart wrenching. Jordyn hurt so badly that she began pulling at her hair, it seemed that she hurt if I even touched her, but all she wanted to was to be held. All along I had been praying, but as it neared 2 am with no sign of the pain easing, I seriously began to worry. As I sat there trying to hold my little girl while touching her as little as possible, a thought came to mind. I truly in that moment felt as though what my daughter was enduring was demonic in nature. I decided that my little prayers for relief weren't enough, & I returned to my Pentecostal roots. My Grammie was a true prayer warrior & held great stock in Spiritual Warfare and with that in mind I laid my hands upon my daughter's head & called down the thunder on Satan. I prayed that whatever stronghold he had upon her to be cast out in the name of Jesus. I rebuked the demonic effort to rob her of the peace of rest & of the carefree joys of her childhood. I petitioned the Lord for the Holy Spirit to guard her doorway & for angels to hover over her. It was truly good ole Pentecostal praying...powerful, authoritative praying. Friends, this is where God's grace shines through. Peace came upon Jordyn the second I began praying in that manner. By the time I finished praying, you could literally feel the relief radiating through her body. My child who had been in excruciating pain, a hysterical sobbing mess just stopped as I prayed. Five minutes after I ended my petition Jordyn said "Ni-Night, Mama", climbed out of my arms, laid down, & went to sleep.

I have experienced answered prayers countless times in my life, but none so powerful, instantaneous, & completely moving as this. I ran to the throne room of my Father, He heard my cries, & He extended unspeakable grace. It was moving, it was eye opening, & it forever changed my understanding of prayer....

Saturday, August 4, 2012

At the Knee & Under Your Wing: Mentorship

A universal problem within the Western church is a raging epidemic of spiritual malnutrition. Believers everywhere are starving for spiritual growth & in reaction to that hunger often complain about the spiritual food their pastor’s offer. The results of this epidemic are zombies in pews, rampant church hopping, eventual lack of attendance, & dying faith. A profound reason for this epidemic is that the structure of the church is stuck in an over 2,000 year old rut. The mold of church began when the vast majority of the population could not read & did not have access to the written word. The modern era does not resemble that world in the least. As of 2011, the U.S. boasted a literacy rate of 99%. Combine that with the fact that the Bible is the most printed book in the world & the old model of church begins to look a bit rusty. It’s time to bring to an end blaming our spiritual leaders for our starving faith & to begin devoting the required effort to become spiritual leaders ourselves. When we begin to wear the cloak of responsibility for our own spiritual growth & prosperity, the perspective of church begins to change drastically. Sitting in the pew listening to a sermon no longer becomes a matter of spiritual feast or famine, but an opportunity for dessert so to speak. Stop for a moment & envision the enormity of the pressure we put upon our pastors. Each Sunday he stands before his congregation knowing that for some his words are the only spiritual meal they will partake in. He bears the weight of meeting the needs of each individual person on his/her own individual level in a way that he/she specifically needs. Could you do that? Every week of every year? I couldn’t.

So what should the faith life look like? Two things stand out to me. 1. Personal ownership & responsibility for spiritual maturity & prosperity. 2. Mentorship. I won’t elaborate long on #1. I’ll merely say this, if our faith hinges on our pastor’s 15 minute sermon, then our faith will eventually starve. If Sunday morning church is the only spiritual nourishment we get, our faith will starve. Another way to look at it is this: Every Sunday my mother-in-law puts out a big spread for Sunday dinner. Every Sunday I stuff myself on her good cooking, but inevitably come Monday morning I am hungry again. We can read, we have access to the Bible, & we can pray anytime, anywhere. We are responsible for our spiritual growth. Once we have a handle on growing in our personal faith, we have a calling to help others grow in that manner as well. Jesus commissioned us (not just pastors) to go & make disciples. How do we do this? One word: Mentorship.

I am passionate about the importance of passing on knowledge from person to person, from generation to generation. When we begin to invest in each other’s lives, to honestly, transparently, & wholeheartedly devote ourselves to one another great things happen. It does not have to be complicated, merely intentional. By virtue of being God-fearing women, we quite naturally rub off on those in our lives, but I am speaking of doing more than that. I am talking about a conscious, intentional effort to learn from the wise & to endeavor to make wise the new in faith. I am talking about taking time out of our busy lives to truly impact someone (on purpose). Women by nature love to socialize. We love to have friends & chit-chat. So let’s do that but focus on becoming more intentional about the premise of our friendships. Let’s begin bonding over reading & discussing scripture instead of the latest gossip in People Magazine. Let’s serve others together instead of going shopping. Let’s pray together instead of gossiping. Being a mentor & mentoring is just a conscious effort to learn from someone & to pass on that knowledge to someone else, to be better (more godly) women because of the company we keep. Reflect on those who are considered “role models” for young women, the Kardashians whose language & behavior is appalling, Victoria’s Secret models whose rail thin bodies & risqué attire skew body image for the average girl. What type of woman does the world deem successful or beautiful? Certainly modest, reserved, submissive women are not. We must rise up & become the role models our peers, sisters, daughters, & granddaughters admire. We live in a know-it-all society that scoffs at the wisdom of our elders. We have become a people who would rather find things out the hard way or through trial & error than to heed the wisdom of others, but at what cost? Because of this arrogant refusal to learn from others, we sadly live in a culture in which over 70% of children raised in the church eventually walk away from their faith. 70% of children raised within the church walk away from it. Sharing our successes & failures, our highs & lows, our achievements & our regrets with one who walks in (or will walk in) our shoes has the potential to alter the course of their path, to guide their steps, to spare them heartache, & to give them a better faith experience. When we begin to do this, suddenly a pastor doesn’t bear the vitality of our faith upon his shoulders, but mature & growing believers share that burden, & it’s a lighter load for all. The old saying goes, “Many hands make light work.”

So what does mentorship look like? Titus 2:3-5

“Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior.”

For as long as I can remember I have loved to sit at the knee of my parents & grandparents, asking them to tell me stories of their childhoods. Over the years I gleaned so many life lessons from them...lessons that altered my own life experiences. Without realizing it I was being mentored by the important people in my life. Mentorship: It happens naturally among believers, but when it is taken to an intentional level it is amazingly powerful. I believe that God is calling us to make mentorship a focus of our faith, His Word confirms that...So what does mentorship look like? I am no authority on the matter, but to me this means that each of us should sit at the knee of someone & then take someone under our wing. We should glean knowledge, wisdom, & experience for someone & then transfer our knowledge, wisdom, & experience to someone else. More specifically grandmothers mentor mothers, mothers mentor young wives, young wives mentor teen girls, teen girls mentor young girls. It’s about walking through life together, holding each other accountable, encouraging one another, & stepping on toes when needed. It’s about having a soft place to fall when you’re at the end of your rope. It’s about letting someone see your ugly side when you need to (without judgment). It’s about not feeling alone, about having a life-saver to grab when you feel like you’re drowning; it’s about knowing that someone has been where you are...that they survived. It’s about pushing & pulling each other out of your comfort zones, about expecting one another to challenge your faith. There is tremendous incentive to grow in your faith when you know others expect you to & will be disappointed if you do not. Mentorship allows you to heap blessings upon someone else, (What an amazing feeling that is!) but it also tremendously blesses your life.

I want to give you an example of Mentorship application & to encourage you with the fruits that application is producing. I have acquired as mentors several godly Proverbs 31 women who pass on to me wisdom about being a righteous wife & mother. One of these women (a stay-at-home, homeschooling mother) has taken me under her wing & is going to walk with me as I begin to educate our daughters. In such a short time she has inspired & motivated me! In this stage of life that I am in her wisdom, prayers, & sympathy are a lifeline! Several months ago I took on the task of mentoring young women. It began as letters to them & has now blossomed into a blog. Giving all glory to the Father, I can say that He has used that small act to hopefully impact the lives of others. As of today the blog has been viewed over 1,100 times from readers in the lower 48 states, Alaska, Latvia, & even South Korea. One of the fruits of this blog is that I am speaking to you today. Perhaps what has amazed me the most in all this was that when I began to write the blog, I did not expect more than a handful of people to read it, & I certainly did not expect to have direct interaction with those who have been impacted by it. Girls who have read the blog have sought my counsel on issues in their lives. Mothers of daughters who read my blog have thanked me for my willingness to be a role model for their daughters. I tell you this not to toot my own horn, but to praise the Lord for what happens when we walk in accordance with His will. God honors our efforts & blesses us through them. Living with & practicing a mentorship mentality allows us to truly abide in the Lord. It aides us in making our faith the essence of who we are not what we do. Church becomes more about a continuation of a godly lifestyle & less about the vital quenching of spiritual thirst. I began this message by acknowledging the epidemic of spiritual discontent, & I firmly believe that the antidote for that ailment is to begin acquiring a mentorship mentality, to be willing to sit at the knee of one above us & to take under our wing one below. Just this past Sunday the pastor of my church made this remark & it has impacted me deeply. “You can share what you know, but you can only reproduce who you are.” Referring back to my illustration about Sunday dinner, I do not merely consume & exist on that one meal every week. I eat 3 meals a day everyday (snacks in between). The 3 meals in your faith life should be your personal quiet time with the Lord, reading your Bible, prayer life, worship, & other avenues by which you feed your spiritual hunger. Mentorship is the snacks that help supplement the nutrition of the meals. Godly, focused, intense friendships add to that full feeling we all need in order to feel satisfied.

To close I ask this: How can Mentorship look in your life? Pray about who would be a good mentor to you, ask them if they would be interested in filling that role. Be intentional about that relationship Maybe you meet for coffee once a week (or month) to have fellowship together. Maybe you write letters to one another or speak on the phone several times a week for encouragement. Maybe when it’s time to put up sweet corn you do that together & then divide the bounty...it’s really just about investing in each other’s lives. When troubles come your way seek their advice & prayer on the matter. When joys & blessings occur rejoice with one another. Find someone that you feel impressed upon to share your wisdom with & do not be afraid to invite them into a mentorship. Dedicate yourself to helping them grow individually & with you spiritually. Be faithful & diligent in showing them that you care about their life and about the path their life takes. I encourage you to look outside of your comfort zone to this mentorship opportunity. By all means glean all the knowledge you can from those wise women in your life, but consider a woman outside of your family to mentor you, someone whom you admire & want to emulate. Choose someone outside of your family to mentor, someone you can see needs a guiding force in her life. Mentorship that occurs naturally is wonderful & good, but intentional mentorship is an act of obedience to the Father & bears great fruit. The task I am asking you to undertake can begin in baby steps & build into something life-changing, culture-changing.

I hope that this message has been an encouragement to you & that you can see my heart bears excitement & no condemnation. I hope that you leave here with your toes a little sore, but motivated & excited to be God’s hands & feet in the lives of others.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Proverbs 31:22

"She makes her own clothing,

and dresses in colorful linens and silks."

Quality:
Capable: Able to make what she cannot buy (or cannot afford to buy)
Fiscal Fashionista: Has a sense of fashion that shows class, well dressed

Breakdown:
Celebrate you Proverbs 31 Women (P31W), God is not anti fashion! The example of a godly woman describes her as being well dressed. There are some things that transcend time & good fabric is one of them! Colorful linen & silk are the fabrics that make up the attire of the Biblical P31W. I think that we can infer from this text that the P31W's style is probably middle of the road in terms of monetary value. She isn't running around in raggedy sweats, but neither is she sporting stilettos to go grocery shopping. The P31W understands that the way she presents herself (through her appearance) says a lot about her character, & she also knows that she is a reflection of her husband, her parents, her children, & etc. The P31W takes that into consideration when she chooses her wardrobe. I'm certain she is frugal & doesn't break the bank by thinking she needs to shop on 5th Avenue, but neither does she walk around in clothing items that are better suited for being made into dust rags. I'd be willing that the P31W takes notice of the fashion trends (as all women do) & finds a modest & fiscally responsible way to achieve the look. The first line of this verse describes her as being capable of making her own clothing. In biblical times that would have been the standard means for acquiring clothing...buy the cloth, cut a pattern, make a garment. Today we live in a world where clothing is made for mere pennies & where countless stores offer replicas of designer clothing for a fraction of the cost. Every woman desires to feel beautiful & to feel confident in her appearance & I truly think God wants that for us...He just wants us to do it responsibly & modestly.

Application:
It's okay to shop! (within reason). I think God respects our need to feel trendy & confident in our appearance (that isn't to say it's a priority of His, just that He's okay with us caring about it). There are countless styles reflective of individual personality & preference & it's okay to achieve the look you desire. Keep in mind that appearance should not cause one to be financially irresponsible, nor should it compromise moral integrity. A great way to shop is to by sale & clearance items. Another good route to go is to buy secondhand (esp. for children who out grow & ruin clothes so quickly). When shopping remember that our appearance reflects upon ourselves & upon our loved ones so choose to create an appearance that reflects the godly woman that you are. Personally I allot (and save up) a specific amount of shopping money to spend twice a year. I try to get as good of quality as I can for as little as I can so I can get as much as I can (if that makes sense). I also have a good friend whose daughter is a little older than my Abigail so I buy her clothes at yard sale prices then just supplement with a few new pieces.
Be Blessed & Happy Shopping!

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