At the Knee & Under Your Wing: Mentorship

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A universal problem within the Western church is a raging epidemic of spiritual malnutrition. Believers everywhere are starving for spiritual growth & in reaction to that hunger often complain about the spiritual food their pastor’s offer. The results of this epidemic are zombies in pews, rampant church hopping, eventual lack of attendance, & dying faith. A profound reason for this epidemic is that the structure of the church is stuck in an over 2,000 year old rut. The mold of church began when the vast majority of the population could not read & did not have access to the written word. The modern era does not resemble that world in the least. As of 2011, the U.S. boasted a literacy rate of 99%. Combine that with the fact that the Bible is the most printed book in the world & the old model of church begins to look a bit rusty. It’s time to bring to an end blaming our spiritual leaders for our starving faith & to begin devoting the required effort to become spiritual leaders ourselves. When we begin to wear the cloak of responsibility for our own spiritual growth & prosperity, the perspective of church begins to change drastically. Sitting in the pew listening to a sermon no longer becomes a matter of spiritual feast or famine, but an opportunity for dessert so to speak. Stop for a moment & envision the enormity of the pressure we put upon our pastors. Each Sunday he stands before his congregation knowing that for some his words are the only spiritual meal they will partake in. He bears the weight of meeting the needs of each individual person on his/her own individual level in a way that he/she specifically needs. Could you do that? Every week of every year?  I couldn’t.

          So what should the faith life look like? Two things stand out to me. 1. Personal ownership & responsibility for spiritual maturity & prosperity. 2. Mentorship. I won’t elaborate long on #1. I’ll merely say this, if our faith hinges on our pastor’s 15 minute sermon, then our faith will eventually starve. If Sunday morning church is the only spiritual nourishment we get, our faith will starve. Another way to look at it is this: Every Sunday my mother-in-law puts out a big spread for Sunday dinner. Every Sunday I stuff myself on her good cooking, but inevitably come Monday morning I am hungry again. We can read, we have access to the Bible, & we can pray anytime, anywhere. We are responsible for our spiritual growth. Once we have a handle on growing in our personal faith, we have a calling to help others grow in that manner as well. Jesus commissioned us (not just pastors) to go & make disciples. How do we do this? One word: Mentorship.

         I am passionate about the importance of passing on knowledge from person to person, from generation to generation. When we begin to invest in each other’s lives, to honestly, transparently, & wholeheartedly devote ourselves to one another great things happen. It does not have to be complicated, merely intentional. By virtue of being God-fearing women, we quite naturally rub off on those in our lives, but I am speaking of doing more than that. I am talking about a conscious, intentional effort to learn from the wise & to endeavor to make wise the new in faith. I am talking about taking time out of our busy lives to truly impact someone (on purpose). Women by nature love to socialize. We love to have friends & chit-chat. So let’s do that but focus on becoming more intentional about the premise of our friendships. Let’s begin bonding over reading & discussing scripture instead of the latest gossip in People Magazine. Let’s serve others together instead of going shopping. Let’s pray together instead of gossiping. Being a mentor & mentoring is just a conscious effort to learn from someone & to pass on that knowledge to someone else, to be better (more godly) women because of the company we keep. Reflect on those who are considered “role models” for young women, the Kardashians whose language & behavior is appalling, Victoria’s Secret models whose rail thin bodies & risqué attire skew body image for the average girl. What type of woman does the world deem successful or beautiful? Certainly modest, reserved, submissive women are not. We must rise up & become the role models our peers, sisters, daughters, & granddaughters admire. We live in a know-it-all society that scoffs at the wisdom of our elders. We have become a people who would rather find things out the hard way or through trial & error than to heed the wisdom of others, but at what cost? Because of this arrogant refusal to learn from others, we sadly live in a culture in which over 70% of children raised in the church eventually walk away from their faith. 70% of children raised within the church walk away from it.  Sharing our successes & failures, our highs & lows, our achievements & our regrets with one who walks in (or will walk in) our shoes has the potential to alter the course of their path, to guide their steps, to spare them heartache, & to give them a better faith experience. When we begin to do this, suddenly a pastor doesn’t bear the vitality of our faith upon his shoulders, but mature & growing believers share that burden, & it’s a lighter load for all. The old saying goes, “Many hands make light work.”

            So what does mentorship look like?  Titus 2:3-5

“Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior.”

         For as long as I can remember I have loved to sit at the knee of my parents & grandparents, asking them to tell me stories of their childhoods. Over the years I gleaned so many life lessons from them...lessons that altered my own life experiences. Without realizing it I was being mentored by the important people in my life.  Mentorship: It happens naturally among believers, but when it is taken to an intentional level it is amazingly powerful. I believe that God is calling us to make mentorship a focus of our faith, His Word confirms that...So what does mentorship look like? I am no authority on the matter, but to me this means that each of us should sit at the knee of someone & then take someone under our wing. We should glean knowledge, wisdom, & experience for someone & then transfer our knowledge, wisdom, & experience to someone else. More specifically grandmothers mentor mothers, mothers mentor young wives, young wives mentor teen girls, teen girls mentor young girls. It’s about walking through life together, holding each other accountable, encouraging one another, & stepping on toes when needed. It’s about having a soft place to fall when you’re at the end of your rope. It’s about letting someone see your ugly side when you need to (without judgment).  It’s about not feeling alone, about having a life-saver to grab when you feel like you’re drowning; it’s about knowing that someone has been where you are...that they survived. It’s about pushing & pulling each other out of your comfort zones, about expecting one another to challenge your faith. There is tremendous incentive to grow in your faith when you know others expect you to & will be disappointed if you do not. Mentorship allows you to heap blessings upon someone else, (What an amazing feeling that is!) but it also tremendously blesses your life.

       I want to give you an example of Mentorship application & to encourage you with the fruits that application is producing. I have acquired as mentors several godly Proverbs 31 women who pass on to me wisdom about being a righteous wife & mother. One of these women (a stay-at-home, homeschooling mother) has taken me under her wing & is going to walk with me as I begin to educate our daughters. In such a short time she has inspired & motivated me! In this stage of life that I am in her wisdom, prayers, & sympathy are a lifeline! Several months ago I took on the task of mentoring young women. It began as letters to them & has now blossomed into a blog. Giving all glory to the Father, I can say that He has used that small act to hopefully impact the lives of others. As of today the blog has been viewed over 1,100 times from readers in the lower 48 states, Alaska, Latvia, & even South Korea. One of the fruits of this blog is that I am speaking to you today. Perhaps what has amazed me the most in all this was that when I began to write the blog, I did not expect more than a handful of people to read it, & I certainly did not expect to have direct interaction with those who have been impacted by it. Girls who have read the blog have sought my counsel on issues in their lives. Mothers of daughters who read my blog have thanked me for my willingness to be a role model for their daughters.  I tell you this not to toot my own horn, but to praise the Lord for what happens when we walk in accordance with His will. God honors our efforts & blesses us through them. Living with & practicing a mentorship mentality allows us to truly abide in the Lord.  It aides us in making our faith the essence of who we are not what we do. Church becomes more about a continuation of a godly lifestyle & less about the vital quenching of spiritual thirst. I began this message by acknowledging the epidemic of spiritual discontent, & I firmly believe that the antidote for that ailment is to begin acquiring a mentorship mentality, to be willing to sit at the knee of one above us & to take under our wing one below. Just this past Sunday the pastor of my church made this remark & it has impacted me deeply. “You can share what you know, but you can only reproduce who you are.” Referring back to my illustration about Sunday dinner, I do not merely consume & exist on that one meal every week. I eat 3 meals a day everyday (snacks in between). The 3 meals in your faith life should be your personal quiet time with the Lord, reading your Bible, prayer life, worship, & other avenues by which you feed your spiritual hunger. Mentorship is the snacks that help supplement the nutrition of the meals. Godly, focused, intense friendships add to that full feeling we all need in order to feel satisfied.

       To close I ask this: How can Mentorship look in your life? Pray about who would be a good mentor to you, ask them if they would be interested in filling that role. Be intentional about that relationship Maybe you meet for coffee once a week (or month) to have fellowship together. Maybe you write letters to one another or speak on the phone several times a week for encouragement. Maybe when it’s time to put up sweet corn you do that together & then divide the bounty...it’s really just about investing in each other’s lives.  When troubles come your way seek their advice & prayer on the matter. When joys & blessings occur rejoice with one another. Find someone that you feel impressed upon to share your wisdom with & do not be afraid to invite them into a mentorship. Dedicate yourself to helping them grow individually & with you spiritually. Be faithful & diligent in showing them that you care about their life and about the path their life takes. I encourage you to look outside of your comfort zone to this mentorship opportunity. By all means glean all the knowledge you can from those wise women in your life, but consider a woman outside of your family to mentor you, someone whom you admire & want to emulate. Choose someone outside of your family to mentor, someone you can see needs a guiding force in her life. Mentorship that occurs naturally is wonderful & good, but intentional mentorship is an act of obedience to the Father & bears great fruit.  The task I am asking you to undertake can begin in baby steps & build into something life-changing, culture-changing.  

I hope that this message has been an encouragement to you & that you can see my heart bears excitement & no condemnation.  I hope that you leave here with your toes a little sore, but motivated & excited to be God’s hands & feet in the lives of others.