'In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids. Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive All-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don't belong (in our clothes), and they can't belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely.'
The store's merchandise maxes out at size Large & in pants size 10, & as is clear by the above statement, they are unapologetic about being 'exclusionary' to body types beyond the fashion world's standards. Hearing that news story made me angry...but it also made me want to throw my bowl of cereal in the trash...sick at the thought of consuming calories. From the moment of our births, women are under terrible scrutiny. The pressure to be 'beautiful' is oppressive. Media & society has propagated the standards of beauty...standards that are virtually impossible to reach by healthy & natural measures. Toys such as Barbie further that expectation...and all of it culminates in an entire culture of females that are brainwashed & disillusioned. I will not pretend that modern day women are the first to experience such pressures, & most certainly American women are not the only ones to have such rigid expectations. The invention of the corset began a very similar body image struggle for women as early as the 16th century (1500's). As fashion became preoccupied with & demanded an hourglass figure, the corset (while fulfilling the tiny-waist goal) could have been an effective torture device. Made with rigid whale bone stays, the corset's only limit to how tightly it could be laced was the strength of the one tying it. Many young debutantes boasted an 18" waist (contrast that with today's average 22"-28" slender waist measurement). Records show that some young women even had ribs surgically removed in order to achieve the tiniest waist possible. Every culture & ethnicity has it's own standards of beauty...standards that they expect women to conform to. Middle Eastern women are expected (sometimes even required by law) to cover themselves from head to toe...allowing only their eyes & their hands to show. Asian cultures once had the practice of 'binding' young girls feet in order that they might remain small...resulting in the feet being broken, deformed, & painful but small (as desired)...which is all that matters of course!
Somewhere along the way, perhaps once Eve realized she was naked & dawned her first outfit made out of foliage, a preoccupation with appearance developed...and grew into a vicious addiction that robs women of any sense of self-worth or confidence. As a believing woman, I know that the intention (of Satan) all along was get women preoccupied on their outer beauty so that they neglect enhancing their inner comeliness, but as a human woman, I get caught up in the trap despite myself. Last night while sitting with the Lone Ranger, watching Wretched (a show on NRB network), I found myself nearly in tears at the topic of the episode. Todd Friel expounded upon an expose written by Joe Carter entitled, '9 Things You Should Know about Female Body Image issues.' (To read the entire list click, here) While I was not surprised by most of the 9 items on the list, a few caught even me off guard, & judging by my husband's reactions it was quite astonishing to him as well. I want to share a few of those with you.
-According to the CDC, for women ages 20 years old & older, the average height & weight of American women is 5'3" & 166.2 lbs. For fashion models the average height & weight is 5'10" & 120 lbs.
-By age 6 most girls start to express concern with their weight or shape. 40-60% of elementary school age girls (ages 6-12) show concern with becoming too fat...a lifelong concern.
-The median age for onset of an eating disorder is 12-13 years old. Over 20 million American women suffer from an eating disorder at some point in their lifetime...most eating disorders are caused by body image issues.
-Only about 4% of women GLOBALLY consider themselves beautiful...meaning that 96% find themselves flawed or ugly.
I grew up watching my mother suffer from the grips of Anorexia Nervousa & Bulimia Nervousa...I myself, have felt it's tentacles try to wrap around me & only by God's grace have not yielded to it's temptations. I can count on 1 hand (with a couple of fingers left over) the number of times I have felt truly beautiful. The above mentioned statistics prove I am not alone. One look about our society shows that women, in a desperate attempt to reach those unreachable standards of beauty, are killing themselves in 1 of two ways in order to get there. I'd wager that the vast majority of us are pulled towards one of these two polarities...either an eating disorder or obesity. Some fight to meet the standards through starvation & purging while others have chosen to give up the fight & overindulge. Surgeries & injections attempt to correct the mistakes that Abba made when He so carefully crafted His masterpieces. As believing women we are torn, perhaps even more than non-believing women are. We KNOW that Abba stresses inner beauty rather than outer. We know that He created us in His image & called it 'good', yet we are plagued by the world's expectations. We find ourselves trapped in the same maze as every other woman in the world. We compromise our integrity as godly women, struggling to find the balance between being beautiful & being righteous. We beat ourselves up & look in disgust at the reflection before us...and it kills us...body & soul.
When I look back upon history & think of some of society's most glamorous women, one comes to the forefront of my mind as the epitome of beauty...Marilyn Monroe. Simply Google her name & image upon image will come up...some of her in her starlet mask & others that are au natural...she's breathtaking in all. I came upon this image of her that made me pause...
I've discovered that there is some argument as to whether or not Marilyn Monroe was overweight or under...some debate as to whether she conformed to Hollywood's demands or paved her own path with her curvaceousness. Some images show her with meat on her bones, even a roll or two, while others make her appear very thin, but one thing is for certain the struggle (to be beautiful, to meet society's expectations) contributed to a myriad of problems that resulted in a life cut short.
(A Thinner Version) (Some Healthy Curves)
As always when I post on this topic of beauty & body image, I am not expecting that we toss out our makeup bags & eat quarts of cookie dough. I am not trying to start a movement of women who turn in their heels for slippers or skinny jeans for sweats. I am not encouraging women to run around with bead head & bad breath. I am encouraging us as believing women to put our foot down & say 'enough.' Centuries worth of skewed body image & torture to meet some ridiculous out-of-reach expectation have ruined a female's ability to see beauty within herself. I am encouraging us to redefine beauty...to make that definition the one our daughters will strive after. Scripture is clear that a beautiful heart pervades to create a beautiful exterior..combine that with the fact that we were chiseled & molded by a Divine Craftsman & it's safe to say God didn't make 96% of females ugly. Our daughters will not buy into this if we don't. So buy your size 8 jeans, wear your size Large shirt, & tell your girl how gorgeous a healthy body is. Make your exercise about health & your meals about nutrition. Curl your hair & talk about how creative Abba was with all the different types of hair He made. Get up one day & walk around without a stitch of makeup on, but when you do apply it, show her that it's for enhancing, not transforming. Endeavor to be so beautiful internally that it has an impact on the exterior. Men who read this post, I challenge you, I implore you, I beg you, to join us in this quest. Tell the women in your lives (mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, daughters, girl friends) that they are lovely, gorgeous, beautiful, breathtaking...tell them often...everyday, multiple times a day. You don't know how powerful that would be.
By far the most widely read posts on this site are those about this topic...because we all struggle & get caught up in the endless maze of beauty. We are snarl & sneer at the reflection in the mirror. We all want it to end. So let's make it happen. Society most certainly will not change, but we as a culture of believers can. I am on a mission to do just that. If any of you would like to write a post on the topics of beauty, body image, appearance, or anything of that nature, please email me & I will post it on your behalf. I'd love to hear other voices joining in unison when it comes to this issue! Be Blessed, Sisters!
