-Titus 2:3-5
Like most women, I'm a people pleaser. I have been for as long as I can remember. Tell me what you want from me. Tell me what you expect of me. Tell me what would make you happy. I'll do it, I'll do it all if humanly possible. Disappointing someone, letting them down, or failing to meet their expectations is my greatest fear in life. Needless to say that when I realized that I had no idea what Abba (God) wanted from me (not merely me as a believer but specifically me as a woman), I panicked. If the thought of letting down a mere mortal human being made me sick, well the idea of disappointing the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Creator of Heaven & Earth was more than I could bear. For over 7 years now I've been on a quest to not only discover God's vision for women, but to become the epitome of one myself. I look back over all of my years in the church & can't believe that I knew so little about what was biblically expected of me as a believing woman. My heart's desire is that not another generation of Christian young women would grow up without this knowledge. Titus 2:3-5 provides a framework that defines 9 traits that righteous women should possess. It very specifically describes the integrity & conduct that Abba expects from His daughters. This Titus 2 Woman (T2W) series will define & discuss each of those 9 traits, but I can't begin doing that until I first address a concept that makes the achieving of those traits possible.
Chapter 2 of Titus presents an idea of mentorship. When one looks at the life & ministry of Jesus, it's clear to see that this approach is very effective. Jesus shared Abba's love with the masses, but he also more intimately shared himself & Abba's truths with a few dear friends-his disciples. For 3 years he poured into their lives, & in turn they gleaned wisdom, insight, & understanding from him. They applied & incorporated all that they had learned into their own lives. Those 11 men (a twelfth was added after Judas' suicide) then spent the remainder of their lives imparting Jesus' wisdom to others & creating even more disciples. That framework, that structure of intimately passing on knowledge, is the overlying concept in Titus 2. It calls for older men to lead younger men, for older women to teach younger women.
It is important to note that while our society entirely intermingles the 2 genders in nearly every way, this particular scripture speaks to the separation of them in this regard. Older men are not guiding younger women. Older women are not training younger men. The qualities that each gender should strive to possess, that each must learn, cannot not & perhaps even should not be taught by the opposite sex.
I am passionate about the idea of mentorship. When I look back at my time of feeling lost & alone, of being uncertain what God desired of me & for me, I know that had this concept (discipleship) been in practice, had it been a focus of our faith, that moment in my life would have looked quite different. I was hungry for truth. My decisions, my choices, my overall perspective would have been drastically altered had I known that truth. I want my daughters, all daughters, to go through life with someone pouring Abba's wisdom, vision, & plans into their lives. I want them to know that when those trying uncertain times come, they are not alone. Mentorship makes that possible.
We live in an era in which youth disrespect & disregard the sage wisdom of elders. We live in a time in which that disregard results in finding things out 'the hard way'...very often yielding great & tragic consequences. They snarl & sneer at Grandma's life lessons & stories from days gone by, but crave & cater to the opinions of their peers. Things have not always been this way. Before the internet, computers, telephones, & much of modern technology in general, people communicated in vastly different ways. Long letters were written to one another. Generations of women worked side by side. Communities were small & intimate. Relationships went back for centuries, & the culture was vastly more focused on familial bonds rather than peer ones. From the moment of birth a daughter or son apprenticed & learned by modeling their mother or father. Kneading dough, drawing water from the well, planting gardens, & doing wash were all opportunities to learn the how-tos of tasks...it was also a chance for conversation, time to pass on all that is learned simply by living & journeying through life. Children were taught to greatly admire & respect their elders. The words that came out of the mouths of those older & wiser were considered a treasure. Before the written word was available, history & teaching was passed on from generation to generation orally...therefore youth listened when elders spoke. Mentorship happened very naturally in that cultural structure. We need to return to that. We need to make drastic changes in our culture. Children need to learn, (& we must intentionally teach them) that there is much to be learned from those older than them. Children need to learn (& we must intentionally teach them) that they should respect that wisdom. These qualities are not innate...they must be taught. We need to teach our children to be humble. We need to learn to be humble ourselves. We do not know it all. We do not have all the answers. There is much to learn at every age & stage.
When we become humbled, when we realized how truly little we know, the wisdom, insight, & understanding of others becomes priceless. As this passage of scripture (Titus 2) has come into my awareness, The Lord has laid upon my heart a phrase that simplifies the concept of mentorship (discipleship): At Their Feet & Under Your Wing. Mentorship is a 2 fold idealogy. Part 1 is to find someone older, wiser, & willing to invest in you...someone whom you can simply sit 'at their feet' in order to glean anything & everything they have to offer. Never underestimate the importance of any tidbit that comes your way. Sage wisdom about how to handle marital conflict to the handy tip of how to get your grout clean can all add to your life. There is no wisdom that is too silly, too mundane, or too trivial. Find someone who loves you, who wants the best for you, & who is wise in faith, family, & friendships...ask them to teach you everything & anything they know. Part 2 is a responsibility. As believing women ourselves, we have an obligation to take a young woman 'under our wing'. Take note of women around you, women who are now in their lives where you have already been in yours. Befriend her, encourage her, & begin pouring into her all that you learned when you were in her shoes. Regardless of what stage or state of life you are in, you have something to offer. We must keep in mind that there is always someone with more wisdom than we possess, and there is someone who would greatly benefit from our personal insight. That is Mentorship/Discipleship in a nutshell.
Imagine how deep, how genuine, and how transparent such friendships would be! Picture those bonds that are derived out of discipleship, born out of pouring into one another's lives...I want that in my life! I want to walk through the ups & downs, the joys & the sorrows, the successes & the failures, knowing that I have women by my side through it all. What a comfort it would be to have that soft place to fall. What confidence would come with knowing that there was someone to turn to in times of questioning and confusion. No longer would the trial & error, 'find it out the hard way' approach be necessary because generations worth of wisdom will passed down and utilized. No longer will we feel desolate & alone in our circumstances because that mentor will be there to guide us through. No longer will we feel useless and unneeded because a young woman will be depending upon our wisdom. I love the picture that this concept paints. As we begin to journey through the 11 qualities a godly woman should possess, we have to bear in mind that we achieve them through this practice. Mentorship and discipleship will guide us along that journey & train us how to acquire each trait.
Application:
My philosophy on the approach to applying the principle of Mentosrship varies from Part 1 to Part 2. For Part 1 (At Their Feet) Be Bold! There has to be a woman that you admire...that you see her & think 'she has all her ducks in a row', that you wish you could be like. Pray first, boldly express your admiration, & ask if she'd be willing to show you the ropes. What woman wouldn't take that as a high compliment?! When she humbly accepts, observe her, listen to her, back it up with scripture, & then apply it to your life! Sit at her feet, glean, & reap the benefits of her wisdom!
For Part 2 (Under Your Wing) Befriend. I think boldness must be tactful here. No woman wants you to walk up to her & say 'Hey, I think I could teach you a thing or two!" While I'm certain none of us would put it quite that way, the wrong wording could certainly carry that connotation. Most women do however desire deep & meaningful friendships. Take note of women who you can relate to, who are struggling with issues that you've faced, who are currently in the state of life that you recently were, & most importantly who are open to maturing in faith...befriend her. Lend a listening ear & a helping hand. Prove yourself to be a trustworthy & genuine friend, & the opportunity to pour wisdom into her life will occur quite naturally. Take her under your wing, love on her, pour into her, & be a blessing!
Scriptural Reinforcement:
"Iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens another." -Proverbs 27:17
"The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple." -Psalm 119:130
"Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning." -Proverbs 9:9
"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." -Matthew 28:19-20
"Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ." -1 Corinthians 11:1
No comments:
Post a Comment