I have greatly neglected you this week! I feel certain though that when I share with you the cause of my blogger-absence that you'll forgive me. On Monday my daughter Jordyn had surgery to insert ear tubes as well as to remove her adenoids & tonsils. In a rather loopy state she blissfully rode a little red wagon off to surgery, but it's been all downhill since then.
At the post-op consultation the Doctor let us know that he had great difficulty finding & maintaining an IV...by that I mean my poor girl had 10 needle sticks & had to have a new IV insertion mid-surgery. Despite that the surgery went as planned, but my Jordyn woke up in a hysterical mess. The darn IV once again clogged & she did not receive the due pain medicine. After a rough night, we finally were able to bring our girl home, but the trouble did not end there. My strong-willed child would not drink. Dehydration was the main fear of the doctor & before I knew it we were in a downward spiral towards that end. Jordyn spiked a 103 fever, became very lethargic, began vomiting, got constipated, & still refused to eat or drink. In her weakness her limbs were shaking so badly that she could not stand. Several times I would think we were out of the woods only to find ourselves in a downward spiral. I might sound a bit dramatic & perhaps I am, but the severity of the situation was very real to this mama as I watched my daughter suffer. My mom, my husband, & myself begged, pleaded, threatened, & bribed Jordyn to drink or eat...all to no avail. I confess that I sweet-talked, hollered, & cried at my poor girl, desperately trying to get to her to do what I knew would make her well. She refused. At times I know that her unwillingness to drink was due to feeling crummy, & I am equally as certain that at times she was merely being stubborn. By God's grace, in answer to many prayers (and thanks to an enema) each time right before we were forced to take her to the hospital she would perk up & drink just enough to get her back into a safer state of health.
While Jordyn remains in an endlessly cranky & irritable frame of mind, we are finally on the mend. Mama is frazzled, daddy is exhausted, & our other two girls feel neglected...this family bears battle scars, but it is so good to see the smile that she slips on every once in a while. We're still pushing fluids & pinning her down to take medicine every 2 hours, but there is light at the end of the tunnel!
All of that said God has used this traumatic experience to give me a glimpse into His heart. Sisters (& Brothers, if you read this blog) how often are we the stubborn child that refuses to eat or drink? The way the our faith in nourished is through the consumption of our Father's Word & by drinking in His presence. How often do we wonder why we're parched, weak, & irritable...wonder why our faith has withered? What can we expect when we've made no effort to hydrate ourselves? Spiritual health can not prosper when it does not receive nourishment. God will not shove the Bread of Life down our throats...nor will He drown us in His presence if we do not want it...do not seek it. We cannot shake our fists at God, blame Him for our poor spiritual health when we alone must make the choice to hydrate our faith. I have now experienced (to some extent) the frustration the Lord faces. I have watched my child suffer due to her pain & due to her sheer stubbornness. I have been in that tough position of knowing what needed to be done to make her well & of not being able to make it happen. My heart broke watching my little girls cry & gradually become a shadow of herself as she became dehydrated. Our Father's heart breaks as He watches us become mere shadows of the beings He designed us to be. He must be overwhelmed with frustration as He sees us choose to let our faith dry up. Having endured the heartache, fear, & helplessness of this last week, I now on a deeper level see the importance of partaking of the Bread of Life...of Drinking in His presence. I will endeavor to be more persistent & intentional in nourishing my faith...I hope that you will too. If you have withered in your faith, if the path between you & the Father has dried up, all you must do to restore what has been lost is to seek His nourishment. Consume His Word & Drown in His Presence!