I am an OCD, clean-fiend. Really, I am. I'm the kind of woman that drives her husband bananas because I have a "place" for everything & a particular method to my madness. On our bed the decorative pillows have to be placed "just so" with the green on on the left & the brown one on the right, a source of frustration to both my husband & I as he's colorblind & both colors look the same to him! I'm the kind of lady the immediately upon walking in the door from vacation must unpack all luggage, & start on laundry before I even take my shoes off...I'm that girl. My goal is to always have my house in such a state that company could pop in at anytime, & I am ready for them! So it comes as no surprise that the other day I was cleaning, & as I was doing so a rather mundane thought popped into my head. I had just scrubbed the bathroom & opened the linen closet to put away towels when a billion & one things rolled out. Grumbling to myself, I picked it all up & (very orderly) shoved it all back in. The door popped back open due to all the mess so as I shoved it closed once more, I had to wonder, if all of the rooms in my house are spotless, does it matter that my closets are a chaotic, cluttered mess? Is my house Really clean if the hidden places aren't? Initially I thought, Absolutely it is! What matters is that if people came over they would see a very orderly neat house...so long as they didn't look too deep.
Somewhat proud of myself for that conclusion, I went about my merry way, tidying up the house & bragging to myself about how a mother of 3 could keep it all together, but the thought kept tickling the back of my mind. Suddenly that mundane idea went to a whole different level. God speaks to my heart in analogies & He tenderly yet firmly convicted me of this subject in a spiritual way. If my life looks godly & holy on the outside, does it matter that the hidden places of my heart & mind hold clutter & dirt? Am I truly "washed white as snow" if the shell of me is white, but the inside still has stains? Suddenly the answer "Absolutely" changed to "Absolutely Not". We are not perfect, but we are to strive to be perfectable. Our lives should be a continuous progression of "Spring Cleaning". As we abide in Christ & dive deeper into our faith, His love should permeate those secret, hidden dirty places. His grace should begin to dust & scrub away at our bitterness, pride, hurt, greed, envy, or whatever else we keep hidden from view & harbor deep within. We cannot be content, I cannot be content merely with having an appearance of holiness without the inside matching that state. It is not enough to present an image of being clean...I would venture so far to say that it is hypocrisy & a stumbling block to others when we do so. The greatest complaint against Christian's is their walk not matching up with their talk & the truth is that what is on the inside (even if hidden) bubbles out. It's time to be transparent! How much more of a witness & an encouragement is it to the world, to openly acknowledge our imperfections, our status as a work in progress? The truth is that while we may fool others with the clean exterior, we hide nothing from Our Father. We serve a God who sees our innermost thoughts. He sees the hidden places & His judgement comes from there, not the pretty presentation on the outside. I am convicted to continue allowing the Lord to get His hands dirty scrubbing up the hidden places in my life, & I hope that you will too.
Psalm 139 speaks powerfully to this. Vs. 1-12, 23-24
O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life
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