Some years ago I was fortunate enough to meet, fall in love with, & marry my Prince Charming. Not long after I met the Lone Ranger, I lost my heart to him...but not all of it. I must admit that despite how madly in love I was (& am) with my beloved, I'd lost a good portion of my heart long before I met him. Several times in fact. Are you shocked that I'd admit such a thing? I did not have a whole heart to offer the Lone Ranger because 3 precious men had long ago stolen pieces of it...Pap, Papaw G, & Daddy will always be co-owners of this heart of mine. These men have blessed my life beyond measure, & most important of all, they have given me understanding of & insight to God as my Father...as Abba (Hebrew expression for 'Daddy, Papa'). Each of them has played a pivotal role in my life...each displayed a quality that has allowed me to glimpse the heart of Abba & to begin to truly see myself as His Daughter...
Pap:
Just typing his name puts a smile on my face. Pap is my maternal grandfather. I want you to be able to picture him vividly...the best description I can give of my Pap is to liken him to Grumpy on Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs. Does that bring a mental image to mind? In that animated film Grumpy was well...Grumpy. He was a man of few words, hard on the surface & tender beneath. When Snow White leaned over, lifted Grumpy's hat, & kissed his head his whole face turned red, & he was helpless to suppress a smile. That's my Pap. When I was a little girl, my cousins & I had a healthy dose of fear of Pap. He kept a flyswatter by his recliner...not just to kill flies but to swat us as we ran by. One time I was plagued by a "cough' (fake of course), & my no-nonsense Pap walked over to his medicine cabinet, took out a dreadful Halls cough drop, had me put it in my mouth, & suck on it until it was gone. No chewing it up. No spitting it out. Needless to say I never suffered from that cough again once all evening. Just like Grumpy had a tender side, so too does my Pap. I remember spending the night with Grandma & Pap. Grandma gave me a bath & then sent me to Pap with a comb in my hand. I trudged over to him, already cringing (my hair was a tangled mess from swimming in lake water), but gentle as could be Pap combed my hair. His dirt stained, rough hands held that comb & with painstaking gentleness he worked out every snag. As a little girl Pap was always kind of a mystery to me...how he could be stern & gruff one instant yet tender & thoughtful the next? I feared him, yet I admired him...I longed for his affection. I feared him, & that fear bred respect...profound respect. Pap was consistent. Pap was firm. Wrong was wrong, right was right. He didn't compromise his standards. As an adult my respect for this precious man has only multiplied. When the Lone Ranger had dinner with my family to receive my dad's permission to marry me, Pap & Grandma happened to be there too. My dad asked the Lone Ranger questions, the kind of questions a good dad asks of a man who wants to marry his daughter. Pap sat there silent & stone faced with his arms crossed. After what seemed like an eternity to me, my dad finally gave John his blessing...Pap stayed silent. Five years later he reminded me that he'd never given us his blessing...he let me know that he was pleased with my husband. Even after all that time (& 2 babies) his approval of my marriage, of my mate, was something I yearned for. I know now that my Pap loved me enough to expect obedience of me. He loved me enough to be stern when needed. Pap had a clear view of right vs. wrong & he expected me to toe the line. Abba is the same. His word clearly defines for us do's & don'ts...rights & wrongs...& that is the expectation of His children. My Pap's tenderness nearly breaks my heart..Abba has a gentleness & sensitivity all His own...one that is a balm to my soul. My understanding of Pap began with fear...a fear of the consequence of my disobedience...that fear evolved into respect...respect for his high standard & his lack upholding of them....that respect transformed into a love so great that I often get teary eyed just looking at my precious Pap. As a young girl I called my grandfather "Grandpa'...later I called him "Papaw"...today I call him "Pap'. Even my term of endearment has become something more intimate, more special in it's reflection of the relationship we share. My relationship with Abba began the same way. In the beginning, before I truly knew Him, I feared Him...feared the consequence of my sins...that fear evolved into a respect...respect of His absolute, unwavering upholding of who He is & what He desires...that respect became love, love so great that I cannot even fathom the depth of it. As a child in faith I called Him 'God'...later I called Him 'Lord'...today I call Him 'Abba'. Because of my Pap, I better understand my Heavenly Father...
(Proverbs 9:10) "Fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom. Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment."
(Acts 10:35) "In every natio he accepts those who fear him & do what is right."
Papaw G:
I'll never forget the day one of my cousins told me that my Papaw G wasn't my real grandfather. His statement, made in a fit of anger, rocked my world. I went home & asked my parents if that was true. It was that day that I learned what a stepparent was...it was that day that my admiration of my Papaw G went to a whole new level. My Grammie had 4 sons...in rapid succession (even more quickly than I've had my 3 daughters). These boys were the epitome of rambunctious, rough & tumble. They were adventure-seeking, prank-playing, caution-to-the-wind type of boys. They were a handful to put it mildly...far too much for any one person to handle...let alone a working mother. Garland Gentry worked with my Grammie. He came into her life in a moment that only Abba could orchestrate. He married my Grammie & inherited those 4 rowdy boys. My daddy was barely 4 years old when this precious man came into his life. My Papaw G raised those wild boys into good (but still rambunctious) men. He loved those boys as his own sons...indeed I think he forgot that they were not biologically his. When those boys married & began having children of their own Garland became a grandfather, Papaw G as we like to call him. Papaw G had children & grandchildren who share his DNA...but there was never an instance of distinguishing them from us. We were his family in every way that mattered. My Papaw G was the rock of our family. I'll never forget watching him in church as he sat with eyes closed, hands tapping to the music, lips singing in worship to the Lord. My Grammie was a lady of great vision, of great inner conviction & motivation...she accomplished great things...things she would never have been able to do without Papaw G. My Papaw G has been there for every great event in my life...he has been there for all of the small things that few take note of...He has been there & when it comes down to it he didn't have to be. This man stepped into a situation that was in some ways dire, he took the reins, & he molded a broken home into a family. Through his love & his investment in that family, a legacy has been born. My dad is a wonderful man because of Papaw G...I am who I am because I had a loving father...I am who I am because of Papaw G...my daughters are happy, healthy little girls who are learning to love the Lord because 1 man took on 4 rambunctious sons & loved them. He accepted them & shared all he had with them. Doesn't that sound like Abba? Through the sacrifice of His son, Abba redeemed us, & when we accept the gift of His love we become His children...heirs to His Kingdom. We become His flesh & blood...The day I discovered that Papaw G was not my dad's biological father, I discovered a love deeper than any scientific explanation...perhaps in ways more precious because there was no biological obligation to do so...He chose to love those boys...he chose to love the grandkids that followed. My Papaw G is of countless worth to me...He adopted my daddy as his own. He accepted me & offered me all the love in his heart. I am his in all the ways that matters...and he is my grandpa. From this wonderful man I can appreciate & understand a God who chose me, who loved me, & who accepted me undeserved & unmerited.
(John 1:12) "But to all who believed him & accepted him , he gave the right to become children of God"
(Romans 8:16) 'For his spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God's children."
(Galatians 4:4-6) "But when the right time came, God sent his son, born of a woman, subject to the law. God sent him to buy freedom for us who were slaves to the law, so that he could adopt us as His very own children. And because we are his children, God has sent us the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, 'Abba, Father.'
Daddy:
I'm nearly 28 years old, & I still call him that. Age & maturity haven't made me alter the way I refer to him. You won't hear 'Father' & rarely even just plain 'Dad' from my lips...to me he will always be Daddy. "Daddy's Girl' is a phrase often used & it's an accurate one. Deep within the heart of every little girl is a innate desire to have a precious connection with her father...I'm not different. I was blessed with a wonderful dad. He was the youngest of those 4 rambunctious boys I wrote about earlier. I have a hard time even describing my dad. He never lost that childlike spirit. He still thrives on adventure. My childhood memories are filled with Daddy taking us on one adventure or another, & he wasn't the kind that would stand on the sideline & cheer us on. He was right beside us experiencing the thrill right along with us. As a young girl I was a gymnast. My dad was often at practice...sometimes not just in the stand watching but beside my coach having her show him how to help me practice at home. My dad was a hands-on kinda guy. As I grew up there were times that I pushed my dad away. If I ever was alone in a problem, it wasn't because he wasn't there, it was because I didn't draw near to him. I made choices & decisions he didn't agree with. He let me know that he expected more from me, but he also gave me the space to make my choices...& to suffer the consequences of them. Each time he made the choice to place his confidence in me once again. My daddy has always been a motivator. He has always encouraged me to seek after something & to not stop until I achieve my goal. He knows what I am capable of, & he expects me to not settle. Maybe one of the greatest things about my dad is that he lives that out. If my dad expects something of me, he expects it of himself first. When my dad turned 40 he realized he was out of shape, & he decided to do something about it. He started a diet & began running. The first day he ran half a mile & thought he was going to die. Today he does the Tough Mudder. He'll turn 50 in April, & he's in better shape than men less than half his age. I so admire this man who raised me. He has shown me unconditional love. He has taught me self motivation. He has been with me through countless trials & errors...He has forgiven me...He has believed in me & my capabilities. It is futile for me to endeavor to put into words the countless lessons this man has taught me in the last 27 years. The greatest gift of all is that he has been a visible example of God's love in my life. I can know how Abba feels about me because I know how my daddy loves me. Abba does not sit on the sidelines, He's right beside us sharing in the adventures of this life. He does not leave us alone to suffer through hardships...unless we push Him away. He knows what we are capable of, & He expects us not to settle. Abba leads by example. Abba loves us unwaveringly, unconditionally...I know this because that's how Daddy loves me.
(Jeremiah 29:11-13) "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. "They are plans for good not disaster, to give you a future & a hope. In those days when you will pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me."
(John 15:9) " I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love."
In the last few months my relationship with the Lord has deepened. It has grown in depth. These 3 men are integral to that growth. I know that there are many who are not so fortunate. I know that there are those who long for a father's love...who have a hard time understanding God because they have lacked that. My heart breaks for you...Abba's heart breaks for you, & He wants to heal that hurt. He wants to mend the wounds, to erase the scars, to be a balm to your wounded spirit. Abba wants to be the father you never had.
(Psalm 27:10) "Even if my father & my mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close."
(Psalm 68:5) 'Father to the Fatherless, defender of widows-this is God, whose dwelling is holy."
(John 14:18) "I will not abandon you as orphans-I will come to you."
To the men in my life, there are no words adequate enough to thank you for who you've been...who you have helped me to become. From the depth of my heart I adore you... To the fatherless, I am praying for your healing...I am confident of Abba's ability to be the Father you desire. Be Blessed!
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