Now, every year on Good Friday, Abba weighs these questions upon my heart: Which of the Darlings would I give? If I could give up one of my girls to save the whole world, would I do it? If letting 1 of them die meant YOU could live...would I make the sacrifice?
I'm not even going to pretend to have a false piety here...just look at these faces!
Which one would I...should I give up...should I let die? Maybe Goldilocks, my firstborn? My blonde-haired, blue-eyed, sensitive, compassionate, mother-hen beauty who is wise beyond her years...or maybe Sweet 'N Sassy? My feisty, strong-willed,cuddly, defender-of-the-weak second-born? Or Belles 'N Whistles? My strawberry-blonde, adventure seeking, paper eating, free spirited baby? Which would I give? How would I choose? Do I even think it's truly worth it...that You're truly worth it?
Do I need to be so blunt as to say a flat out, ardent 'No!'? I'd be hard pressed to knowingly send any of my girls to a sure death for anyone, even those I love dearly. Would I do it for my precious Pap? For my mom, my dad, my sister, my brother? Would I do it for my best friend since childhood, or for my kindred spirit who knows me better than anyone? Part of me likes to think that I'd be selfless enough to do so, but the more honest part of me knows the truth...and as if this isn't revealing enough about the wretched state of my heart, consider how vehemently ugly my response would be about sacrificing my precious darlings for one who has wronged me, betrayed me, abused me, humiliated me, or hurt me? Would I let my innocent daughters pay the price for the murderers & molesters? NO.
I realize these truths about myself, & suddenly the goodness of Abba is more than I can handle...because He did that exact thing. He looked at His precious son, whose amazingly unique attributes melted His heart, & He made a decision...one that I would not make. Abba looked at His boy, His only son, & decided it was worth it...allowing Jesus to be beaten, mocked, humiliated, & murdered was worth it...it was worth it if He would be reconciled to the murderers & molesters, to the mean & nasty, to you & to ME.
So today I am humbled, I am emotion filled, & I am moved to be certain that I fully grasp how very significant today is...it is indeed 'Good' Friday, because only a loving & GOOD God would sacrifice someone innocent & pure to restore someone guilty & wretched... Today I consider my immense need for that kind of goodness. Today I allow myself to consider that day long ago, that day when a much beloved son, a little boy to his Abba, was innocent but treated as guilty, was spit upon, was mocked, was beaten & battered, was violently nailed to a cross...for ME. I no longer allow myself the luxury of summing up today in a simple sentence, void of emotion or true understanding...no more watered down declaration about how God sent His son to die, but a heart wrenching comprehension of the gruesome scene that played out that long ago day...because it is only by acknowledging the brutal details that I can fully grasp God's goodness...that I can fully appreciate what happened that day, what happened 3 days later. It is only by acknowledging to myself that I would not do the same...that I would not do it for the worst of these or even for you, that I see the truth. I am as wretched as the murderers or molesters; I am as stained & as guilty as the adulterers & thieves...I am in as dire need of a savior as the worst of these, & that day Abba, through the sacrifice of His son, took my wretched sin-stained soul & cleansed me white as snow...He did the same for you.
If you are a parent, look at each of your children today...consider all the makes them unique & special...imagine yourself in Abba's shoes...
If you have not yet had the joy of bringing a little one into the world, I encourage you nonetheless to consider today, the profound sacrifice that was made on your behalf...
Don't be afraid to feel conviction rain down, don't be afraid to fully grasp your wretchedness, for it upon that realization that today will truly become 'Good' Friday. Be Blessed!
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