-Titus 2:3-5
Quality:
Pure: free from harshness; free from dust, dirt, or taint
Other Translation Wording:
Chaste (AMP)
Breakdown:
There are commercials for a particular fast food restaurant (Hardee's, I'm going to call you out...Shame on You!) whose content is so vulgar that they make my face blush & my blood boil. It's not an exaggeration to say that they are nearly pornographic. Commercials advertising for condoms are equally as expilicit. One might expect such behavior from the media, but even our government has an agenda to make sex casual & 'normal'. Legislation has been passed in many states that requires public schools to begin teaching Sex Education in Kindergarten...KINDERGARTEN. Your 5 year old may soon come home from school telling you about the Letter 'G', the color Green, & homosexuality. Previous generations of women felt scandalous as the hem of their skirts went from ankle to knee...then from knee to thigh. The future culture of women, now little girls, will never know such feelings of breaking boundaries...quite simply because there are none. From the get-go, young girls begin to guage their self-worth by the way a boy responds to them. Very early on they learn that the desired response is achieved by strutting around in revealing attire...and so reveal they do, long before they're even developed those bumps & curves. They feel no scandal or shame at their lack of modesty because they've never known the alternative. Not very long after learning to get attention via lewd dress, young girls also figure out that keeping it requires more...
As I researched statistics for this post, I was astounded by the way the studies are worded...as if the stats are good. For example one study said this, 'Only 13% of adolescents have had sex by age 15...'
I read that & felt sick...while scholars seem to think thats a minute amount, I find it terribly disturbing! 6% (I'm going to go ahead & call them children) by age 13 have had sex. By age of 19, 7 out of 10 teens have had intercourse.
Sadly enough those statistics are not entirely shocking, as I said the media & government do a pretty good job of making both sex & sexuality matters of little import...but I had to wonder what the numbers might say in terms of the Christian community. Maybe these facts will surprise, & yes shock, you. 80% of unmarried 'evangelical' Christians (between ages 18-29) have engaged in intercourse. If that statistic speaks of intercourse...can you even imagine what the numbers would say about all the sexual activity that comes before the full act itself?! True Love Waits? Evidently not for many. 65% of women obtaining abortions claim to be either Protestant or Catholic...65%. Merely 'Googling' that query brought up forum after forum debating whether or not the Church should remove the 'Sting' of Premarital Sex...should the Body alter it's standards & expectations since society has so readily accepted promiscuity & since the statistics are proof that Christians do too? We cannot allow ourselves to be deceived...we cannot permit our guilt-ridden conscious to be eased. Abba is unchanging, & scripture is clear...sex outside of marriage (in any shape or form, for any reason) is WRONG. No 'ifs, ands, or buts'.
Malachi 3:6 'I am God-Yes, I am. I haven't changed...'
James 1:17 'Every good & perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.'
Numbers 23:19 'God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind.'
Our society, our culture, & even our government might ebb & flow in terms of morality, but the God of the universe does NOT. He is the same yesterday, today, & tomorrow...and as His children we are expected to conform to His standards, not the world's. Regardless of the statistics, despite how many are 'doing it', the expectation of Purity for believers remains...whether we want it to or not, whether we meet that expectation or not. One has to wonder though, given the way that intimacy has been cheapened & promiscuity has been encouraged, is it even possible for a believing woman (or girl) to remain pure?
1 Corinthians 10:13 'No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.'
Titus 2:3-5 lists the quality of Self-Control right before the trait of being Pure...that's no coincidence. The ability to be pure & to remain that way will require a good dose of willpower. Scripture is clear that Abba will offer an escape route when temptation comes, but there's no guarantee that the route will be an easy one...taking it, choosing the high road, will require Self-Control. Knowing that we are capable, even if it's terribly difficult, then begs us to question; How? Surrounded by & inundated with sex at every turn, calloused to immodesty, how do we avoid sexual impurity? More importantly, how do we begin changing the trend so that our children do not fall into the category of those 80% who succumb to the pressure?
When I consider the scripture that speaks to Purity, I see 2 tactics: Flee & Focus.
1 Corinthians 6:18 'Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.'
Colossians 3:5 'Put to death therefore what is earthly in you; sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, & covetousness, which is idolatry.'
It would be nearly impossible in this world to avoid sexual immorality...it's everywhere; t.v., internet, books, & the public behavior of others...but we most certainly can Flee when we encounter it. It can be as easy as turning the channel when that vulgar Hardee's commercial comes on, or perhaps more drastic measures are needed...maybe it's time to truly consider the necessity of satellite or cable at all. Let me tell you, I have even seen inappropriate commercials on even the Disney Channel, & ABC Family is full of shows that encourage & glamorize promiscuity & alternative lifestyles...when it comes to media, not 1 channel is wholesome...unless it is on the Christian networks. Much as we would hate to do without our favorite Prime Time programming, I fear we may very well be approaching the time in which we have to weigh the importance of watching 'The Voice' compared to protecting our children (even our spouses) from the lure of lust. So much do we rely upon entertainment that we cringe to even think of deactivating our televisions, but sisters, when 80% of single young Christians are engaging in sex & when over half of all abortions are committed by those who claim membership in the Church, we've got to make some changes. One way or another, mild or extreme, it's time to Flee. We are fooling ourselves if we think that struggles for purity are limited to the young unmarrieds. Marriages are torn apart by affairs (physical & emotional), & relationships between man & wife are strained by lusts. Media has made crossing boundaries of propriety EXTREMELY easy & tempting. Merely opening the internet browser can bring up indecent pictures. Billboards, commericials, magazines, & etc. fuel fantasies & make appealing intimacies beyond that offered by wives. Romance novels are rife with glorified scenes of romance & lovemaking that women long for...and that glamorization makes them dissatisfied with their marriage bed. Our husbands are tempted at nearly every turn...it's unavoidable. Women are disillusioned by an overly glamorized & romantacized portrayal of intimacy & begin seekingthat attention elsewhere. Scripture is clear that it is possible to resist temptation, & that God does provide an escape route...but we have to be willing to take it, & to sacrifice whatever is necessary to do so. Am I saying that every believing family should disable television & internet, no...but maybe some families should. Only you can truthfully examine the ways that sexual immorality is invading your family, & only you know the impact that is having...only you can decide how to deal with it. What I will say is this, some degree of Fleeing will be necessary if you, your spouse, & your children are going to remain pure.
The second course of action is to Focus.
Matthew 6:21 'For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.'
Philippians 4:8 'Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.'
When our lives revolve around worldly things, our lives our going to look worldly. When our lives revolve around godly things, our lives are going to look godly. When we emphasize materialism, beauty, popularity, & success...guess what's going to be important? When we place importance upon integrity, character, wisdom, & rightousness...guess what we will strive towards? Very naturally, the things that are important to us...that take up our time & attention...mold who we are. When we set our focus Abba, His plan, His desires, & His standards, we tune out the distractions of the world. Godly fellowship, clear boundaries, & vocal (& physcal) declarations of standards all go a long way towards maintaining purity. It's also important to note that idle, unintentional time very often & very easily leads towards sin. If fellowship (hanging out with people) does not have a reason or agenda, it can very easily lead to opportunities for temptation. Idle channel surfing & internet browsing very easily (often accidently) place immorality before our eyes. We need to be aware. We need to be focused.
Application:
Singles: Set clear boundaries of expecation for yourself. Many people categorize purity by whether or not one has engaged in intercourse, but intimacy often occurs long before that act. Determine in your mind what your boundary line is (hand holding, embracing, cuddling, kissing, perhaps more...) & do not cross it...don't even flirt with the line. While I practiced abstinence, I can't say enough how much I wish my boundary line had been much more strict. If I could go back, hand holding would have been my personal limit...to this day I regret that it was not. There is emotional intimacy (especially for females) in every physical connection...even in something as intimate as hand holding. That intimate connection stays with you & brings baggage into the next relationship. If you are in a dating or courtship relationship, have the discussion with your boyfriend. Establish the boundary line verbally, and then guard against crossing it. Time spent in seclusion & being isolated is a bredding ground for temptation. I strongly encourage group dating rather than one-on-one...always have a chaperone who isn't afraid to hold you accountable. Guys, don't open the magazines...don't fill curiousity via pornography. Those things begin an increasing addiction that requires more & more to be satisfied, & they make 'boring' what should be sacred. Learn self-control & perfect the art of fleeing. Girls, close the novels & forget the chick flicks. Glamorized & romanticized lovemaking is not the norm...there will not always be rose petals, candles, wine, & soft music. That disillusionment will yield resentment & breed a need for excitement. Be modest. There is an entirely attractive & even seductive quality to being classy. If a man looks at you & wonders about your morality, consider a wardrobe change. Flee every chance you get, & Focus on who you are in Him. If you have already made mistakes & crossed boundaries, make a choice to put an end to your impurity. Repent, change your ways, & start anew. Previous mistakes do not make it okay to make future ones.
Marrieds/Parents: The vow between you doesn't automatically mean that there will be no temptation. Keep your marriage pure. Find sexual fulfillment in one another. Intimacy has been given a bad wrap in the Christian culture made out to be entirely about reproduction & nothing about pleasure. God had more in mind for intimacy in marriage...it is wholly permissable & good to enjoy sex with your spouse. Having a healthy & happy love life within the marriage certainly aids in keeping sexual immorality at bay. Social media, & technology in general have made temptation readily available & easy to act upon. Set boundaries. Do not privately message, email, or text someone of the opposite gender. Be certain that friendships with the opposite gender include their spouse & yours. The same concepts of Flee & Focus apply to those who are married. As parents there is a whole additional layer to maintaining purity...your children are absorbing everything. They are watching your standard of morality in your marriage & in what you allow into the family. Set standards of propriety in regards to dress, socializing, & media intake. Be cautious with bestowing freedoms to early. Rid your lifestyle of any & every impurity that you can...it's worth the sacrifice. Early on, tween age, begin speaking to your children about abstinence & purity...becareful to not merely define purity as abstinence. Purity is mental, emotional, as well as physical. Passport to Purity by Family Life is an excellent source with a fantastic way of introducing this concept. Uphold an expectation of purity for your children, & display how it's done by making your marriage an example. If sexual immorality has occurred within your marriage or in the lives of your children, hope is not lost. Stop the behaviors & determine to move forward in purity. Past mistakes do not make permissable or excusable future ones.
We need to know & acknowledge that Purity is not merely physical...it's mental & emotional as well. Boundaries can be violated via conversations & fantasies. We need to have a high standard of Purity, to perfect the art of fleeing when necessary, & to focus on Abba so that there is not room or opportunity for sexual immorality. The lack of this quality in our lives has wreaked much havoc & has caused much heartache & hurt. The consequences are long lasting & life altering. It's time to make the changes needed, to take Abba's escape route, in order to achieve Purity in our lives. Be Blessed.
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